Cursed With Elizabeth
by Two Orlando Stalkers
Summary: Laurel and Sarah are cursed with being Elizabeth Swann's cousins. They get captured along with Elizabeth...Will and Jack must save them...will there be some romance? ELIZABETH FANS:DO NOT READ..anyone else,r/rplease!
1. Peanut butter will take over the world

Sarah: We don't own anyone but our Will and our Jack *huggles Jack*  
  
Laurel: Righto! *huggles Will*  
  
*movie producers suddenly appear*  
  
Movie Producer: Excuse me? Ahem?  
  
Laurel and Sarah: Dammit. *huggle Will and Jack closer* YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM!!!  
  
Movie Producer: Let them go.  
  
Laurel and Sarah: Pooey! *reluctantly let Will and Jack go* THEY DON'T BELONG TO US ANYMORE!!! WAAAAAAAAH!!! *sob hysterically*  
  
Will and Jack: YAY WE'RE FREE!!!  
  
But anyway.you can read the story now.heh.  
  
~Laurel POV~   
  
"Laurel! Laurel, you silly girl, get in here!" the governor yelled. I rolled my eyes. "Coming, master of the universe," I grumbled. I walked down the hall to the dining room, where the fat old bloke (a.k.a. the Governor, my uncle) was sitting and stuffing his face.   
  
"Yes, uncle?" I said in a dainty voice.   
  
"Laurel, I am expecting a visitor a little later on. I need you to greet him for me. I'll be in Elizabeth's room." With that he heaved out of his chair and waddled up the stairs.   
  
"You mean ElizaBITCH," I grumbled after him. That girl was so stuck up. Ugh, I hated her. But she WAS my cousin (unfortunately) so I had to put up with her. Plus I got some pretty neat dresses that didn't fit the little prat that were quite stylish, and I got to live in a mansion. All right, I didn't hate her. I strongly disliked her.   
  
I sighed and walked down the hallway towards the big oak front doors. No sooner had I reached them than I heard the lion's head knocker outside sound. I opened the door and looked right through the man that was standing there.   
  
"Hello, sir," I said boredly. "Welcome to the governor's house. Are you here by appointment?"   
  
"Why, yes. I have the sword that he will be presenting to the commodore later today," a voice said. Like I had told you, I was just ignoring who the person was. I focused my eyes on his face, and my jaw dropped. In front of me stood a tall, very handsome young man. He had a beard and moustache, and fairly long hair pulled back behind his head.   
  
"Ma'am? Are you alright?" he asked.   
  
"Nnnyeahh," I slurred. Good lord, bless his parents. I shook myself out of it. "Please, come in, sir!" I said happily, putting on a more lively tone.   
  
"Thank you." He stepped past me and I closed the door, stopping a moment to smooth down my dress. Ahhh, thank the Lord that Elizabeth outgrew my favorite lavender one.   
  
"The Governor shall be a few moments, sir," I told him.   
  
"That is all right. What is your name?" he asked.   
  
"L-Laurel," I stuttered. "I'm Elizabeth's cousin."   
  
"I am Will Turner. It is nice to mee-"   
  
"LAUREL! SARAH! GET UP HERE!" a woman's voice called angrily.   
  
"Oh lord..." I ran up the stairs. I heard chuckling behind me. I stopped and glared daggers at the man, but I was fighting a smile. I sprinted down the hallway. I had almost reached Elizabeth's room when a door flung open. I crashed right into it, causing my nose a lot of pain.   
  
"Owww!" I groaned, clutching my face. A deep brown-haired head stuck itself around the doorway. "Hullo, did I hit someone?"   
  
"Sarah, you fool! It's me!" I grumbled through my hand.   
  
"Ah! Hello there, Laurel! Where are you off to?" my other cousin Sarah said in a very perky voice. She was my best friend, despite her idiocy. (Just kidding Sarah.)   
  
"Off to do something for Miss Princess of Port Royal, Elizabitch," I said quietly. We both stifled our giggles and walked quickly down the hall.   
  
When we reached Elizabeth's room her father was there, handing her a new dress. "Oh, how lovely! But, Uncle, didn't you just give her one yesterday?" Sarah asked in a sweet little voice. I snorted into my hand.   
  
"Yes, but today is a special day, for her suitor, the Commodore, is being honored for his services."   
  
"Oooh, what fun," I said dryly.   
  
"Yes, it shall be a most exquisite occasion!" the Governor said, not catching on to the sarcasm. Honestly, you'd think that a person with such a high place in the government would at least have a bit of intelligence...   
  
"Sarah, come lace me up, please," Elizabeth said from behind the changing screen. Sarah rolled her eyes and walked back. "Ooh! Ow! Not so tight, you silly girl!" I heard Elizabeth grumble. I barely managed to hide my smile. We would do random mean things to Elizabeth, like put vinegar in her tea, "accidentally" step on her foot, etc. Mostly because it annoyed us how she called us "girls", even though we were a half year older than her.   
  
"Laurel! What are you doing up here! Why are you not waiting down with Mr. Turner?" my uncle barked suddenly. "And why are you covering your nose in such an absurd fashion?"   
  
"Well, for one thing, you told me to come up here, sir," I tried to say calmly, "and I'm covering my nose because SOMEONE smashed it with a door." I heard Sarah let out a "HA!" before she shut up.   
  
"Indeed. Well it was quite rude to leave Mr. Turner down there. Now, move along, keep him company!" he said, and shooed me out the door, slamming it behind me.   
  
I walked downstairs, humming "God Save the Queen" quietly. As I walked through the doorway into the den, I saw Mr. Turner fooling around with one of the sconces on the wall. Suddenly the arm broke off. He looked at it in shock.   
  
"Ahem?" I said with a smile. He spun around with a sheepish look on his face. I grinned. "Here." I took the arm thing and dropped it into a vase. "No one will notice for a while," I assured him, "and I won't tell. It's happened to me, too."   
  
He gave me a grateful smile. "What happened to your nose, Miss Laurel?"   
  
"Erm... a little run-in with a door," I muttered, blushing. (Lame pun intended.) We spoke for the next few minutes while we waited for my uncle.   
  
"And why is it that you are here?" he asked.   
  
"Oh, my cousin Sarah and I just came for a visit. We'll be staying for almost a year." Just then we heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I led him out into the entrance hall as the governor came waddling down the steps. "Ah, Mr. Turner, you're here!"   
  
"Good observation," I mumbled.   
  
I watched with interest as Will showed the Governor the sword he had made. It amazed me how well he could twirl it around, and knew that he was a fine craftsman when he showed that the sword was perfectly balanced.   
  
"Laurel, why don't you go get changed for the ceremony? I bought both you and Sarah a new dress, too," my uncle suggested.   
  
I smiled. "Thank you, Uncle," I said, kissing him on his cheek. All right, so he wasn't that bad, I guess. I turned to Mr. Turner. "It was very nice to meet you."   
  
"And you also, Miss Laurel," he said, kissing my hand. I grinned and walked up the stairs.   
  
When I got to the landing at the top, I walked down a ways until I came to the wall. Then I hid behind it, and watched as Will and my uncle talked.   
  
Suddenly some quiet footsteps were coming down the hall behind me. "Shouldn't you be getting ready?" I looked up and saw the "Princess" coming towards me. I nodded and slowly walked towards my room, but then turned around and spied some more. I noticed how Will ogled as he saw Elizabeth come down in a new cream-colored dress. I rolled my eyes. Sarah was following, wriggling her rear like Elizabeth tended to do when she walked. I bit my lips so I wouldn't laugh. She was wearing her new dress. It was a deep red color with burgundy ribbons; very stylish.   
  
"Hello Will," Elizabeth crooned, walking over to him.   
  
"Good morning, Miss Swann," Will said, bowing. I yawned. Yeah well, you would too. I decided to go get ready.   
  
I walked into my room. I saw that there was a box on my bed, and opened it. Inside was a gorgeous sky blue dress with dark navy blue ribbons trimming it. I called for one of the younger maids, Ashley, who came in and laced up my corset. She was one of the only friends I had made in Port Royal. I cringed as she tightened it up. "Could you make it a bit looser, Ashley, please?" I said over my shoulder. "I can't breathe."   
  
"Oh, sorry Miss Swann," she said, and loosened it. She was a very sweet girl.   
  
"It's quite all right. And call me Laurel, please." She then helped me put my blonde hair up on my head, and curled a few strands that hung down whilst I put on some rouge and eye shadow. I slipped on some dress shoes and thanked her, then walked down the hall.   
  
When I got to the landing, everyone looked up and stared at me. Gosh, it isn't the bloody zoo, I thought. I started walking down the stairs. Unfortunately, I didn't make it all the way down on my feet. My stupid skirt got in the way. I stepped on it and tripped, then rolled ten feet down the stairs. "Oof! Ow! Ack! Ow ow ow ow!" Crash.   
  
Sarah started laughing hysterically while everyone else, except Elizabitch, who was tittering her stupid head off, ran over. "Are you alright, Laurel?" my uncle asked.   
  
"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you." I noticed that Mr. Turner was trying to hide his smile. I glared at him, color rising to my cheeks. He held out his hand and helped me up. I dusted off my dress and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Thank you, Mr. Turner," I said shortly, still very embarrassed.   
  
"Your welcome. And please, call me Will, Miss Swann," he said, still smiling down at me.   
  
"Then call me Laurel, Will," I shot back, grinning. With that my uncle led Elizabeth, Sarah and I out the door.   
  
As I climbed into the carriage, I noticed how Will stared at us. I waved to him, and he waved back. I think I was going to like him.   
  
See that little purply gray button down there? Ok.feel free to click that.. hit "submit review" ..see how EASY that is??? ALL REVIEWERS WILL RECEIVE CYBERCOOKIES!!!  
  
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	2. No That's BAD! BAD COMMODORE!

Sarah: We don't own anyone but our Will and our Jack *huggles Jack*  
  
Laurel: Righto! *huggles Will*  
  
*movie producers suddenly appear*  
  
Movie Producer: Excuse me? Ahem?  
  
Laurel and Sarah: Dammit. *huggle Will and Jack closer* YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM!!!  
  
Movie Producer: Let them go, or I'll steal all your celery sticks and crutons!  
  
Laurel and Sarah: Pooey! *reluctantly let Will and Jack go* THEY DON'T BELONG TO US ANYMORE!!! WAAAAAAAAH!!! *sob hysterically*  
  
Will and Jack: YAY WE'RE FREE!!!  
  
A/N: Cybercookies for reviewing go to: SpoonGirl, Mrs.Sparrow, LOTR Sparkling Pippin, happygal0101, EatEvilLeprechauns, and Savvy. WE LOVE YOU ALL!!! *ehug*  
  
~Sarah POV~  
  
The ride to the ceremony was uneventful, except for the fact that my *lovely* cousin Elizabitch vomited out the carriage window, due to the fact that I had laced her corset so tight. We arrived at the ceremony right on time. Elizabitch spent the entire thing gasping for breath while Laurel and I looked on in absolute smugness. Afterwards, the new Commodore asked Elizabeth if he could have a word with her. They walked over to the edge of the cliffy thing (Elizabitch with quite some difficulty). Naturally, Laurel and I followed so we could hear what they were saying. The commodore flirted with Elizabitch a bit, and she nodded politely and gasped desperately for air. Then the bloody brilliant man proceeded to propose to her.  
  
Elizabeth's response was "I can't breathe!"  
  
The commodore turned in all his high-n-mighty stupid-ness and said "Yes, I'm a bit nervous myself."  
  
I quickly, in all my gleeful brilliance, snuck up behind Elizabitch and shoved her forward, causing her to fall over the edge of the beautiful cliff. However, the asinine girl also managed to grab ahold of MY hand..pulling me down with her. Damn. Bloody Hell, I thought.this is NOT the $%&*@#$ plan!!! I heard Laurel laughing hysterically as we fell.some cousin she is.  
  
Eventually, after a loverly long fall, we hit the water. I had sort of managed to pull into a semblance of a dive, though it hadn't done me much good. I DID remember to take a deep breath before we hit, but Elizabitch couldn't because of her corset..MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! It was my most fervent hope that she'd die. I sank quickly to the bottom of the ocean, and my breath began to run out. OMIGOODNESS, I WAS TOO YOUNG TO DIE!! AAAH!! But wait! What was THAT? A SHARK?!?!?! No.it was a man..and, as he got closer, I saw that I was a very very cute one. All of a sudden, a huge pulse surged from where Elizabeth was floating. As I ripped off my poor lurvely dress (which I would simply HAVE to have a funeral for) in order to be able to swim to the surface, I turned to look at Elizabitch. At that moment, the man reached us. He grabbed us both, but mostly Elizabitch, who looked to be unconscious. We broke through the surface, but the strange cute man with sexy black eyeliner and Elizabitch sank back down because of the weight of Elizabeth's ridiculous puffy dress. Sexy eyeliner man quickly removed Elizabitch's dress so that she was wearing only her way-too-sexy-too-be- seen-in-around-strange-cute-man shift. They broke through the surface once again, where I was floating with my mouth hanging open, and string of drool coming from my mouth, I was sure.  
  
The strange man looked at my in concern. "Are you alright miss?"  
  
"UgghaaannnnYes." I managed. We began to swim towards where the Dauntless, a very pretty boat belonging to our sad excuse of a navy, was docked. We reached the dock, and some dim-witted officers of the Royal Navy rushed over to help Elizabitch up onto to the dock, of course forgetting all about me. Thankfully, sexy black eyeliner man did NOT forget about me and helped me up onto the deck. The officers were frantically trying to get Elizabitch to breathe. I snickered. Haha, I hope she died. MUAHAHA! Unfortunately, sexy man figured out what was wrong and cut off her corset. Damnation. Then he noticed the gold medallion around her neck (which I happened to know she snitched from Will Turner 8 years ago on the crossing from England) and asked Elizabitch, "Where did you get this?" But just then, the fat-ass Governor, the prissy Commodore, Laurel, and some MORE officers rushed up, their guns pointed at cute man. The Governor immediately grabbed Elizabitch off the ground and threw his jacket around her shoulders, and said to the officers "Shoot him." They were going to shoot my love, whose name I didn't even know!! AAaUGH!!  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" I screamed and flung myself in front of him. "YOU CAN'T SHOOT HIM!!! BACK OFF YOU CHEESE BRAINED CRUTONIC MORONS!!"  
  
The Governor glared at me. Then Elizabeth, in all her somewhat brilliance, said "Father! Do you really intend to kill my rescuer?" Much as I hated her, I really wanted to hug her just then.  
  
"I believe thanks are in order," the commodore said, sticking out his hand. The stranger wrinkled his nose and hesitantly shook the commodore's hand. But THEN, the bloody commodore pushed up the strangers sleeve to reveal a P branded into his skin.  
  
"Had a brush with the East India trading company did we, Pirate," the commodore said, smirking in all his bloody badness. I resisted the urge to lunge and him and scratch his eyes out.  
  
"Hang him!" the governor commanded. I started to cry. "WAAAH!!"  
  
"THIS ISN'T FAIR YOU NINCOMPOOPS!" Laurel yelled at them. I bawled on her shoulder.  
  
The commodore ignored us while the governor glared his fleshy glare and pushed up the pirates sleeve further.  
  
"Well, if it isn't Jack Sparrow," the commodore announced.  
  
"CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, if you please sir," Jack said.  
  
"I don't see your ship anywhere, Captain."  
  
"I'm in the market."  
  
While the commodore made fun of Jack's BEAUTIFUL effects.and his hat, I leaned over and whispered to Laurel "Captain Jack Sparrow!!! He's so CUTE!! I love him! Look at him.he's so..awwww."  
  
Laurel nodded in agreement, and we stared and drooled for awhile. "Will is cuter," Laurel whispered. "HE IS NOT," I hissed back.  
  
All of a sudden the piss ass commodore grabbed Jack and marched him over to where and officer was standing and waiting with irons. As the officer slapped the irons around Jack Sparrows hands, Elizabeth, Laurel, and I all stepped forward in disapproval.  
  
"Commodore, I really must protest!" Elizabeth said.  
  
"YOU IDJIT!! WHADDYA THINK YOU'RE DOING?" I cried.  
  
"NO! BAD! THAT IS BAD! CHEESE BRAINS!" Laurel yelled.  
  
The commodore explained boredly to us that one good deed wasn't enough to redeem him and blah blah blah.  
  
When the officer was finished fastening the shackles around Jack's wrists, Jack said "Finally." and threw the chain binding his hands around Elizabitch's neck.  
  
Laurel and I could barely contain our approval. I was resisting the urge to tell him to strangle her then and there. Jack asked for his effects, AND his hat (that ka-ute hat.*sigh*) and gestured for me to put them on while he pointed his pistol at Elizabitch's head. Heh. Smiling broadly, I took my time adjusting everything. As I placed his hat on his sweet little head (*cough* Ahem.yes.) I smiled flirtatiously and he smiled back. I was pretty damn sure I was going to like this guy. . .  
  
-----\/----you like?? Review pweese!!!-----\/----- 


	3. Let the drooling commence

Sarah: We don't own anyone but our Will and our Jack *huggles Jack*  
  
Laurel: Righto! *huggles Will*  
  
*movie producers suddenly appear*  
  
Movie Producer: Excuse me? Ahem?  
  
Laurel and Sarah: Dammit. *huggle Will and Jack closer* YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM!!!  
  
Movie Producer: Let them go, or I'll steal all your celery sticks and crutons!  
  
Laurel and Sarah: Pooey! YOU CRUTONIC MORONS! *reluctantly let Will and Jack go* THEY DON'T BELONG TO US ANYMORE!!! WAAAAAAAAH!!! *sob hysterically*  
  
Will and Jack: YAY WE'RE FREE!!!  
  
~Laurel POV~  
  
I watched with a grin on my face as Sarah gave Captain Sparrow his "effects", knowing that she was enjoying every second of it. I started giggling when she put on his belt for him. It was just too odd. When she walked slowly back to where I was standing, I chuckled and shook my head. She just looked at me with a smug smile and an ecstatic expression.  
  
Jack sort of nodded his approval, the chain still around Elizabeth's neck. "Gentlemen," he said, looking towards my uncle, the commodore and the soldiers, "ladies," he nodded to Elizabeth, Sarah and I, "this is the day you will remember that you almost caught... Captain Jack Sparrow!" With that he pulled away the chain and pushed Elizabitch with all his might towards us. Then he turned around and kicked a gear with his foot, causing a rope to fly upwards. He grabbed onto it and rode it up to the top the ship's mast. Sarah squealed and cheered him on while the soldiers began firing their guns. "Go Captain Jack!" she cried, jumping up and down slightly. He paused for a split second and winked at her, then rode down yet ANOTHER rope to the ground and started running away. Sarah watched him with her mouth hanging open and her eyes glittering with delight. I must admit it was quite amazing.  
  
"Get him!" the governor bellowed. All the soldiers around us ran after Jack, who was now fleeing towards the town. Sarah and I started to run after them. "Laurel! Sarah! Get back here!" my uncle yelled.  
  
"NO!! SHUT UP!!" we both yelled. "YOU FAT OLD COOT!!" Sarah added, and we kept running.  
  
Sarah is much more athletic than I am and was running along without a care. I, on the other hand, could only go so far before I lost sight of the bright red-coated soldiers and Sarah. "Damn," I muttered. I rounded a corner to an alley and bumped into... who else? Will Turner. Yay!  
  
"Laurel! Why are you all out of breath?" he asked with a concerned look.  
  
"I was following *pant* a pirate," I told him, leaning against the wall to catch my breath.  
  
"A pirate?!"  
  
"Yes, he threatened *pant* to kill Elizabit- err, Elizabeth."  
  
His eyes got wide and glittered in anger. "He threatened to kill her?"  
  
"...Yes." Oh, boy, he looked angry.  
  
"Come on!" he said furiously, grabbing my hand.  
  
"Where are we going?" I asked happily, not really caring, just as long as he kept holding my hand.  
  
"Back to my shop." Oooh, goody!! I thought excitedly. We started walking down the alley when...  
  
"What the bloody-!!!" A person came running down the street and smacked right into Will, knocking him down. I immediately knew who it was, since she was wearing only a shift.  
  
"Sarah!!" I growled, helping Will up. "What in the name of the Lord do you think you're doing?"  
  
"Sorry! I lost Ja- erm, the soldiers, and was looking for him... I mean them," she told me hurriedly. "Can I come with you?"  
  
"Yes, I suppose you must," said Will, and he started walking down the street.  
  
Sarah and I followed him back to the blacksmith shop, where he quietly opened the door and looked in. "It's all right. Come on," he said, gesturing to us. We nodded and followed him. The first thing that I noticed was that all the machinery was going, and that the donkey that powered it seemed excited about something. Will knelt down and stopped him. Ahh, he was good with animals, too.  
  
The next thing I saw was that there was another man sitting on a chair, unconscious. In his left hand there was a whiskey bottle, which was half empty. "Right where I left you," Will said with a smile. Sarah and I started giggling madly as the man started talking in his sleep. I walked over to a table, curious about the tools he used, when I found a hat that seemed oddly familiar.  
  
"Will, is this yours?" I asked, holding it up. He got a puzzled look and shook his head.  
  
"Hey, that looks like-" Sarah started to say.  
  
All of a sudden someone jumped out of the shadows, a sword in their hand. Sarah and I screeched and ran to the other side of the shop. It was Jack Sparrow! Bloody hell, of all the places for him to pop up...  
  
Will grabbed a sword off a nearby stand and the two of them began dueling. The swords sliced through the air and met with a *clang* over and over again. "Do you really think this wise boy? Crossing blades with a pirate?" Jack asked at one point. How dare he call him a boy!? Will glared at him and didn't answer. "Ta!" Jack said cheerily as he ran for the door. Will took the sword he held and threw it, aiming straight for where Jack was. Sarah cried out and covered her eyes in fear. The sword slammed into the door, mere centimeters from Jack's nose, causing it to stick shut. He stared at it for a moment in wonder, then began to pull at it. It wouldn't even budge. He turned to Will.  
  
"That is a WONDERFUL trick...but once again, you are between me and my way out, and now...you have no weapon." He was right. I couldn't see any possible way for Will to win this one.  
  
But both of us were wrong. Quickly he grabbed a red-hot sword out of a nearby fire and brandished it. "Oooh, Jack is going to get his arse kicked," I muttered to Sarah, earning me a jab in the ribs. We both turned back to the fight. The two of them were now dueling around a piece of machinery.  
  
"Who MAKES all these?" Jack said incredulously, looking at the weapons.  
  
"I do!" Will said proudly. He was so talented... *clang clang* "...and I practice with them *clang* for three hours every day!" *clang clang*  
  
They jabbed at each other a few more times before Jack said, "You need a girl, mate."  
  
"Ooh, ooh! Pick me!" I squealed quietly, bouncing on the balls of my feet and watching them continue to fight.  
  
"Or MAYBE," Jack continued, "the reason you practice three hours a day *clang clang* is because you already have one-"  
  
"Damn!" I blurted out.  
  
"-and are otherwise incapable of WOOing so..." *clang clang* Sarah started madly tittering and I hit her on her arm.  
  
"The reason I practice three hours a day is that so when i FIND I pirate...I can kill IT," Will shot back.  
  
"Haha!" I cried triumphantly. The other three stopped and stared at me. "Erm... carry on," I muttered, blushing.  
  
Will and Jack continued to clash swords for several more minutes. It was full of action, including each of them being thrown up onto the rafters above our heads. Sarah waggled her eyebrows, and we looked up with idiotic grins on our faces and watched as they nimbly leapt from beam to beam.  
  
"That makes them seem even more attractive," Sarah said breathlessly.  
  
"Yeah..." To our disappointment, both of them fell back to the ground, and Will ended up covered in brown... stuff. He had dropped his sword and just sort of stood in front of the back door, not really knowing what to do.  
  
Jack pulled out a pistol and aimed it at him. "Move."  
  
"No."  
  
The pirate cocked the gun and put his finger on the trigger. "This bullet was not meant for you," he told Will.  
  
"NO!" I screamed, leaping in front of him. "You can't DO that!"  
  
"And why not, miss?" Jack asked sarcastically, not lowering the gun.  
  
"Because... I'm buying time for the blacksmith that's about to smash your head with a whiskey bottle," I said.  
  
"Wha-?" CRASH.  
  
"Teehee!" I giggled.  
  
"Oh my goodness!" Sarah squealed and ran over to where Jack's form lay on the floor. "YOU KILLED HIM, YOU BIG FUDGE MONKEY!!!" she screamed at the blacksmith. Honestly, the names that girl comes up with...  
  
"He isn't dead, you dunce," I told her. Just at that moment the main door broke down and in strode my uncle, the commodore, and his band of goons. The commodore looked to the blacksmith, completely ignoring Will. "Good work," he said in his usual big air-headed idiot fashion.  
  
"Just doin' my duty, sir," the blacksmith muttered, obviously very drunk.  
  
"Sarah! Laurel! What are you two doing here?" my uncle asked suddenly.  
  
"Errr..." Sarah and I said intelligently. "You see-"  
  
"It's an interesting story, actually..."  
  
"We, um..."  
  
"Yeah, well..."  
  
"Sir, I told them to come here," Will said suddenly. I turned around and gaped at him. "Huh?" Sarah and I both blurted.  
  
"Yes," he continued with a raised eyebrow and a piercing glare at me. Oooh, I get it! "I met up with them in an alleyway and they told me about the pirate. So I asked them to come back here to the shop with me. I just didn't want them to be injured." Wow, he's a good liar...  
  
"Um... yes, that's exactly what happened," Sarah said.  
  
"Yes. We saw him in an alley." I nodded in agreement.  
  
"Very well then. Come along, girls. We need to get you some clothes, Sarah," my uncle said, ushering us to the door. Sarah looked down at her attire and blushed. I snickered, getting evil glares from both of them.  
  
Before I walked out the door I turned around and looked at Will. "Thank you," I mouthed to him. He grinned and nodded.  
  
It was just as we were climbing into the carriage that I realized something. I was in love.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ooooooh, wasn't that FUN!? Please review! (All reviewers get cybercookies) All flames will go to Noodles, our pet Fleefer. Say hello, Noodles.  
  
Noodles: ROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAARRRRRR!!! MEEEEEE HUNGRYYYYYYY!!!  
  
Did I mention that Fleefers especially like to eat flames and people who send them? *big stupid grin* Toodles! 


	4. Meet Morgan, my pet Spork

Sarah: We don't own anyone but our Will and our Jack *huggles Jack*  
  
Laurel: Righto! *huggles Will*  
  
*movie producers suddenly appear*  
  
Movie Producer: Excuse me? Ahem?  
  
Laurel and Sarah: Dammit. *huggle Will and Jack closer* YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM!!!  
  
Movie Producer: Let them go, or I'll steal all your celery sticks and crutons!  
  
Laurel and Sarah: Pooey! YOU CRUTONIC BLACKMAILING MORONS! *reluctantly let Will and Jack go* THEY DON'T BELONG TO US ANYMORE!!! WAAAAAAAAH!!! *sob hysterically*  
  
Will and Jack: YAY WE'RE FREE!!! *run away*  
  
Reviewers: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEWS!! YOU ARE LOVED!!! All of you who reviewed last chapter get cybercookies!!!  
  
A/N: THERE WILL BE NO UPDATES UNTIL NEXT WEEK BECAUSE BOTH AUTHORS WILL BE ON VACATION. Sorry for the inconvenience. ~*~*~*~*~  
  
~Sarah POV~  
  
We got back to the house and I was forced into one of Elizabitch's old dresses, which actually wasn't "old" (she had just gotten a whole load of beautiful blue dresses three days ago and had decided she looked horrible in blue, so Laurel and I had gotten them all. . .) and it was quite nice. I actually LIKED just running about in my shift, as it was quite comfortable and corsets and dresses were NOT. I told Laurel this, and she agreed with me, and we decided we really must convince people that all these clothes really weren't necessary. Then we decided that if our uncle were to discover this, he's probably lock us in jail with Jack Sparrow (though we really wouldn't mind that at all).  
  
"I want to go visit my poor Jack," I told Laurel after my hair had been dried and combed and washed and combed again and dried again (much to my annoyance).  
  
"Yes. . .we should visit him. . .but our uncle will never let us!" Laurel said.  
  
"So we sneak out."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Through the window," I said, grinning like an idjit.  
  
"THE WINDOW?!"  
  
"The window."  
  
"The WINDOW?"  
  
"Yes, the WINDOW."  
  
"The window. You can't be serious. THERE ARE ROSEBUSHES UNDERNEATH THE WINDOW!" Laurel screeched.  
  
"Yes, I am well aware of that fact."  
  
"YOU NINNY FOO FOO! WE'LL GET ALL SCRATCHED AND CLAWED AND THEN WE'LL DIE!!!" Laurel shrieked shrilly into my ear.  
  
"Not so loud you noodle nose! We won't get hurt. We'll be careful. Besides, isn't the window just so. . .pretty?" I asked.  
  
"THAT ISN'T THE POINT! Why can't we just walk down the front steps and out the door?"  
  
I rolled my eyes. Really, Laurel was quite daft. (Just kidding, Laurel) "BECAUSE, you sponge sniffer, we'll be SEEN. Either by Uncle or one of the servants, who will then tell our uncle. So the door is BAD," I explained as patiently as I could, which wasn't very.  
  
"Oh . . . I see now," Laurel said.  
  
"Alright then, let's go."  
  
I edged towards the door, then abruptly jumped out the window and landed in the rosebushes. It didn't hurt a bit, honestly! Until, of course, Laurel landed on top of me.  
  
"OW, YOU STUPID BANANA! Why didn't you wait till I got up to jump?!?!?!" I hissed.  
  
"I was scawed!" Laurel whispered.  
  
I rolled my eyes. Again. Silly girl. We snuck out of the house and hightailed it to the jail, where we snuck in past the sleeping guard. We took off our cloggy shoes and tippy toed towards the cells. We saw as we approached the cells that the guards had placed the keys in the mouth of what had to be the most disobedient dog in Port Royal. The prisoners in the cell next to Mr. Handsome J. Sparrow were waving a bone through the bars, whistling, and begging the dog to come closer. The dog, of course, stayed put.  
  
"You can keep doing that all day but the dog is NEVER going to move," Jack Sparrow said from where he was leaning against the wall of his cell, his hat over his eyes.  
  
Laurel and I looked at each other and grinned. He sounded so sexy when he said that. We quickly approached Jack's cell . . . causing the dog to run away, much to the other prisoner's anger. When we reached thee cell, stood in front of the door and said  
  
"Hello, Mr. Sparrow!"  
  
Jack Sparrow sat up from where he was leaning and removed his hat from his eyes. He glanced around the cell until his eyes caught mine. He smiled.  
  
"Why hello Miss . . ."  
  
"Sarah . . . Sarah Swann. But do call me Sarah," I said, smiling flirtatiously.  
  
Laurel drooled on while Jack and I flirted. The dog eventually crept back into sight, and the other prisoners immediately started whistling to it, etc.  
  
"Say, love, would you get those keys?" Jack asked sweetly.  
  
"Of course I would, Jackie poo," I responded, batting my eyelashes. Laurel rolled her eyes at me.  
  
I approached the dog . . . which, of course, proceeded to bolt away yet again. Damn thing.  
  
All of a sudden, we heard cannon fire.  
  
"Are those guns?" Jack dashed over to the window, looked out, and said almost to himself, "it's the Pearl."  
  
Laurel and I looked at each other and gulped. The Black Pearl was sitting down in our harbor, firing cannon fire at us.  
  
"RUN!" I screamed at her. We ran out of the jail and back to our house as fast as we could and climbed into the house through and open window on the first floor, which we quickly shut.  
  
"HOLY SPOONS!" I yelled as a cannon ball hit a building and made a very large window in the wall of it.  
  
We ran upstairs at the speed of lightening (however fast that is). We were running so fast that we banged into and knocked down Elizabitch.  
  
"ERLACK!" Elizabeth yelled when she fell and hit her head on the ground.  
  
"Oh.Elizabit-Elizabeth dear . . . we're SO sorry," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.  
  
Laurel and I cackled in all our coconut-like insanity and raced into Laurel's bedroom and locked the door. Just as soon as we had done so, we heard a tremendous crash and Elizabeth's scream. Laurel and I looked at each other and gulped. Then we scurried over to Laurel's closet and shut ourselves in, clutching each other and trembling like scared bunnie wabbits. A few moments later, after hearing an amazing amount of crashing, banging, booping, screaming, cursing, yelling, whistling, doobeling (yes, doobeling), and screeching, we heard someone banging on Laurel's bedroom door. Ah sticklebats and festering tree stumps. A split second later we heard the door crash down and voices of evil smelly men.  
  
"We know you're in here! Come out!" a voice called.  
  
Laurel and I stared at the closet door like it might just bite us. We were barely breathing . . . and then the closet door banged open, revealing two evil pirates.  
  
"Why, hello young Missies . . ." one of them said.  
  
"GET AWAY FROM US YOU KIWI BRAINS!!" We screamed.  
  
The pirates looked at each other, then back at us, and one of them said "No, missies, don't think so . . ."  
  
Erlack. This was NOT good . . . I thought of Jack Sparrow. He would save me, wouldn't he? My love would save me from this dilly poo's . . .  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
You likesie? REVIEWS! CYBERCOOKIES TO ALL WHO REVIEW! And remember . . . no updates till next week because authors will be on vacation. Thank you!!! 


	5. and THEN? I ate it

For the last time, infidel, we do NOT own POTC, Will, Jack, Elizabit- excuse me, Elisabeth, etc. etc. etc.   
  
Ooh, and cyber cookies to all our reviewers, except for certain FLAMERS. *cries* Not that we got any TRUE flames.but STILL..   
  
~*~  
  
Laurel POV  
  
The two pirates yanked us out of the closet and held our arms behind our backs in a death grip. No matter how hard I struggled, I couldn't pull myself free.  
  
They prodded us with their pistols and we made our way downstairs. As we reached the landing, I heard a scream and a crash. What the hell? Oh, it must be El Stupido doing something... stupid.  
  
Sure enough, ten seconds later, Elizabeth bolted down the hallway. She skidded to a halt and stared at us. "Laurel? Sarah?"   
  
"Elizabeth, you bluthering fool!! HELP US!!!" I yelled.  
  
But Elizabeth IS the governor's daughter, and as you all know the governor isn't exactly the brightest human being on God's good earth. So naturally Elizabeth would have his stupidity genes. Being the idiot that she is, she decided not to run down the stairs, but instead turned around and ran back the way she came.  
  
"Oversized banana-faced dummy!" Sarah spat after her. But then the two men jerked us down the stairs and out the door.   
  
"I demand that you unhand us, you filthy... things!" I said defiantly. The pirates just laughed evilly as Sarah and I gulped. Two more pirates came up behind us dragging along a sulky looking Elizabitch.   
  
As they led us through the town, I saw the worst scene unfold before my eyes. Houses, shops, inns, and barns were all being burnt or robbed. Women were being dragged away screaming, and men were being shot. In fact, one was so close to me that his blood spattered on my dress. I heard Sarah make a disgusted little noise as I gagged.   
  
I searched through the crowd looking for someone who was free and could save us. Sarah and I simultaneously looked at each other, then shouted, "HELP!!!" at the top of our lungs.   
  
Suddenly I heard a male voice yell, "Laurel? Is that you?" I scanned through the crowd, and my eyes fell on the ever-so-hot face of-   
  
"WILL!!!" I screamed. He turned and our eyes met, and he took in the scene of the foul dirty poof brained pirates hauling me, Sarah, and Elizabitch.   
  
"Laurel!? Elizabeth? Sarah?"   
  
"In the name of all things holy, Will, just come and SAVE ME!!" I shouted.   
  
"US!!" Sarah corrected as he ran towards us. Several pirates tried to stop him, but he had an axe from his shop with him. He threw it into the backs of several men before there was any empty space between us. He started to run forward, but was knocked unconscious by a man with a whiskey bottle.   
  
"Will!" we cried as his eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed to the ground.   
  
"Well... that sucks," Sarah muttered. I struggled to break free and help him, but the pirates holding us just cackled and dragged us away. Bloody pirates.  
  
We eventually reached the dock and the pirates shoved us into a small rowboat. Oh no.rowboats HATED me.*gulp*   
  
"You young misses better not try anything foolish," one of them said with a toothless smirk.  
  
"And what if I try to jump out of the boat?" I asked defiantly, edging towards the bow of the boat. The pirate cocked his gun and pointed it at me. "I don't think you'll be wantin' to try that, eh, miss?" he hissed.   
  
I blinked and smiled, nervously clicking my tongue. "*click* Um, heh heh... no, I think I'll just *click* sit back down riiiight here. Thank you for the offer, heh..." I slowly eased to a sitting position next to Sarah. The three of us sat there trembling, Elizabeth looking rather pissed off.   
  
After about five minutes of rowing, we reached a large black ship in the middle of the harbor. The writing on the side read "Black Pearl". Quickly the two pirates in our boat pulled us up and motioned for us to climb up a rope ladder onto the deck. Sarah went first, then me right behind her. Suddenly she screamed and disappeared over the wall edge of the boat as I heard the word "parley".   
  
"Sarah!?" I yelped, scurrying up the ladder. All of a sudden I felt large hands wrap themselves around my wrists and pull me up. "Yeek!" I squealed and fell onto the deck. I looked up and saw a large black man with beads embedded into his face staring down at me. "Ewwww," I muttered. He grabbed my arm again and pulled me into a standing position, holding my arms behind my back. I saw Sarah about ten feet away with another large man doing the same to her. She looked at me and jerked her head in an odd way. "What?" I mouthed. She jerked her head again. "Huh?" She rolled her eyes and looked to her left. Standing not two feet away from her was Elizabeth.   
  
"Eh?" I said, completely dazed. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and turned to see an older man with a big hat and a monkey on his shoulder walking towards us. A monkey? I thought pirates had parrots!   
  
"I am here to negotiate-" Elizabeth started.   
  
"You will speak when spoken to," one of the pirates said, wrenching her arm. Yeek, touchy, aren't they?  
  
"And ye'll not lay a hand on those under the protection of parley," said the man with the hat with the incredibly stupid looking feather, whom I could only assume was the captain.   
  
"Aye, sir," answered the pirate.  
  
"My apologies, miss..."  
  
"Captain Barbossa, I am here to negotiate the cessation of hostilities against Port Royal," Elizabitch cut in.  
  
"And that meeeaans..." I said slowly.  
  
"Yes. There are a lot of long words in there, Miss; we're naught but humble pirates. What is it that you want?" Captain Barbossa said.  
  
"I want you to leave and never come back," Elizabeth stated in a holier- than-thou voice. I snorted. Like that would ever happen!  
  
"I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request," Barbossa said.  
  
"Huh?" Sarah and I asked.  
  
"Means no," he said.  
  
"Ah, all right."  
  
"Alright then. I'll drop it," Elizabeth said. She walked over to the edge of the deck and held out her gold medallion.  
  
"Me holds are burstin' with swag and that bit of shine matters to us? Why?"  
  
"It's what you've been searching for. I recognized the ship. I saw it eight years ago on the crossing from England," she stated triumphantly.  
  
"Did ya now?"  
  
"Fine, well, I suppose if it is worthless then there's no point in me keeping it," Elizabeth said, and let the medallion fall a bit. All the pirates lunged forward, and Sarah and I started giggling. What idiots. So it's a bit of gold. Big deal! Oh, how wrong we were.  
  
Barbossa chuckled. "Ah. You have a name, Missy?"  
  
"Of course we have names," I interrupted. "My name is Laurel, that is Sarah-" Sarah waved, "-and that's Elizabeth."  
  
"I meant your last names, lassie."  
  
"Ehm... Turner. Yes, we are the Turners. We are all cousins, and are maids in the Governor's household."  
  
"And how does a maid come to own a trinket such as that?" Barbossa asked, turning back to Elizabeth. "Family heirloom, perhaps?"  
  
"If you are suggesting that I stole it, I did not," she said defiantly. Although it wouldn't have surprised me if she really *had* stolen it. She actually steals a lot of Sarah's and my things.  
  
"Very well, you hand it over and we'll put your town to our rudder and never return." Elizabeth hesitated, then put the medallion in his outstretched hand. Barbossa grinned, then turned away and started giving orders to his men. The pirates lifted the anchor and the boat started sailing out towards the sea.  
  
"Hey, wait a moment! You need to take us back to shore!" Sarah said. "What about that parley thing?"  
  
Elizabeth moved towards him, nodding. "According to the code of the order of the brethren-"  
  
"First, your return to shore was not part of our negotiations nor our agreement so I must do nothing. And secondly, you must be a pirate for the pirate's code to apply and you're not. And thirdly, the code is more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules. Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, Miss Turner, Miss Turner, and... er... Miss Turner." Barbossa bowed to each of us in turn, then turned on his heel and disappeared into his cabin. Then three pirates grabbed us and shoved us into another room.  
  
*****  
  
"Well, isn't this delightful?" I said dryly after about an hour.  
  
"Oh, DO be quiet!" Elizabeth snapped.  
  
"Excuse us, oh Queen Elizabeth of Port Royal," Sarah spat back. Elizabeth bristled and then turned her back to us. We smirked at the back of her head, then sat in silence.  
  
"Laurel?" Sarah said after a while.  
  
"Hrm?"  
  
"Do you think we're going to die?"  
  
"Not if we can help it."  
  
"What will we do?"  
  
I thought about her question for a few minutes, then looked right into her eyes.  
  
"We are going to escape."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Oooh, a cliffy thingy! Well, what'd you think? Likey? No likey? Reviewy? Goody!  
  
Oh, and please read Crystyna's POTC fic, "How To Snag A Hottie From Your Prom Queen Of The Caribbean." 'Tis fantastico! Vamos, mis amigos pequenos! 


	6. And we all go fishing in Africa

Disclaimer: Do you REALLY think that we ANY of the characters besides Sarah and Laurel? If you do, you're a bloody idiot.  
  
A/N: All the nice, kind, loving, generous people who reviewed the last chapter receive cybercookies. Thank you!!  
  
And special thanks go to Carmina Burana for helping us think up the chapter title!  
  
Well, we finally got ahold of the script, so this ought to be a bit easier . . .  
  
R&R everyone!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
~Sarah POV~  
  
Escaping. WHEE!! I LOVE ESCAPING!!! Laurel and I decided in whispers that Elizabitch simply could NOT escape with us because she was a stinky melon poo. So, we hit Elizabitch of the head with a candlestick and she fell down unconscious. WOOT WOOT! Now for the hard part. We waited until we were sure that no pirates were looking (which actually took 3 and half hours of waiting and several more bonks to Elizabeth's head before she was taken ) and we tippie toed like pixie's out of the room we were in. We already knew that there was a rowboat hanging over the edge of the Black Pearl, so quick as lightening (however quick that is.) we jumped into the boat, untied it, and were in the water. It was then that some of the pirates realized what we had done.  
  
"Hey! Stop the prisoners! They aren't supposed to escape!" one of the pirates yelled.  
  
"NO DUH!!" screamed another one.  
  
Laurel and snickered while then ran around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to figure out how to catch us, as we were rowing away has fast as our poor arms could row.  
  
"YOU PURPLE MUSTARD FACED IDJITS!!! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH US!! MUAHAHAHAHAA!!!" We bellowed back at them.  
  
"WAAAAAH!!! SNOT FAIR!!" they whined, "WE WANT OUR MOMMIES!!!"  
  
"Um, Pintel, I think you wet your pants," Ragetti said.  
  
"WHAT? No I didn't!"  
  
"Uhm. . . then why are you standing in that puddle?"  
  
(awkward silence ensues)  
  
~~~~~~~~~IN THE MOVIE THEATER~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Everything stops, camera zooms in on puddle at Pintel's feet)  
  
Erm . . . (audience stares at screen uncomfortably) Heh heh.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Laurel and I looked at each other.  
  
"Um, right. BACK TO ESCAPING!" Laurel yelled.  
  
~Half an Hour later~  
  
Laurel and I had been rowing for what couldn't be long but what seemed like forever. Dawn had come quite a while ago. We were rowing quite fervently when all of a sudden Laurel said "Sarah! Look! I think it's that purty boat, the erm . . . Interceptor."  
  
"WHAT!?" I looked around.  
  
"Well, fo shizzle ma nizzle, I'll be shoed!" I said.  
  
We started rowing towards the Interceptor. As we got closer we realized that it wasn't the Royal Navy on board . . . it was  
  
"JACK!" I screeched.  
  
"WILL!" Laurel shrieked.  
  
"YAAY!! HUZZAH!! WOOT WOOT!" We yelled.  
  
Jack and Will looked at us with raised eyebrows as they heaved us up onto the deck. We blushed.  
  
"Heh heh heh . . ."  
  
"So, why do you guys have this boat and not the snitpooed excuse of a commodore?" I asked.  
  
"We stole--" Will started  
  
"We COMANDEERED this ship out of the port, to go rescue you, Miss Swann, and you Miss Swann, and . . . the other Miss Swann, savvy?" Jack finished.  
  
"I savvy," I said, staring at Jack openly, probably drooling. Again.  
  
"Come Laurel, Sarah . . . you must rest, do sit down," Will said. Laurel and I walked over to where some barrel-thingies were on the deck and sat down on them . . . or rather, we TRIED to sit down on them, but Laurel, who wasn't paying attention because she was drooling over Will, stepped backwards and knocked me over just as I was about to sit down, which sent both of us smashing down on the deck. Ouchies.  
  
"UGH, LAUREL, YOU HERMOTIC FOOLIOSO! STOP $^@#%! DROOLING FOR ONCE AND pay ATTENTION to what you're doing!" I shouted.  
  
"Well sor-ry," Laurel mumbled as we scrambled to our feet. We turned to see that Will and Jack were staring at us, trying very hard not to laugh. We harrumphed and sat down. Continuing to stare at THEM, of course.  
  
After we had been sailing a few minutes, Will started to talk to Jack. Laurel and I sidled over a bit closer to them so that we could listen.  
  
"When I was a lad living in England, my mother raised me by herself. After she died, I came out here, looking for my father," Will said.  
  
"Is that so," Jack replied.  
  
"My father, Will Turner. And in jail it was only after you learned my name that you agreed to help. Since that's what I wanted, I didn't press the matter. I'm not a simpleton, Jack. You knew my father," said Will.  
  
"I knew 'im. Probably one the few who knew him as William Turner , everyone else just called him Bootstrap or Bootstrap Bill."  
  
"Bootstrap?"  
  
"Good man. Good pirate. I swear you look JUST like him."  
  
Laurel and I giggled. However, Will was not very keen on accepting this fact, so next thing we knew, Jack had swung the boom out and Will was dangling over the sea.  
  
"NOOO!" Laurel screamed and lunged for Will.  
  
"NOOO!" I screamed and lunged for Jack.  
  
"YOU STUPID CRUTONIC HANDKERCHIEF FACED BUFFOON!!" Laurel yelled at Jack.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! PULL HIM BACK!" I screeched at Jack.  
  
Jack looked a me. "In a minute, love."  
  
"As long as you're just hanging there, pay attention. The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance - you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can't. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you'll have to square with that someday. And me, for example, I can let you drown but I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So.(swings him back on board and offers him his sword) can you sail under the command of a pirate or can you not?" Jack said to Will.  
  
"Tortuga?" Will asked.  
  
"Tortuga."  
  
"MEEP! We're going to Tor-tu-ga! We're going to Tor-tu-ga! We're going to Tor-tu-ga!" Laurel and I sang, dancing around the deck, which only gained us more odd looks from Will and Jack.  
  
*~*Several hours later, in Tortuga*~*  
  
".port and port alike it is a sad life that has never breathed deep the sweet bouquet that is Tortuga , savvy? What do you think?" Jack asked.  
  
"Erm . . ." Laurel and I said, looking around at the many, many, brawls, the many many many whores, and the many, many, many, many, MANY drunk men.  
  
"It'll linger," said Will.  
  
"That it will," I muttered. Laurel and I clinged to each other and gave petrified looks to everyone around us, and stuck very, very, VERY close to Will and Jack (who I think were a little frightened by this).  
  
"I swear, if every island were like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted," Jack stated happily. Just then, a whore came up to us. Laurel and I reeled backwards, repelled.  
  
"Scarlet!" Jack exclaimed. This 'Scarlet' proceeded to whack MY poor Jackie- poo across the face. "EEK!" I screeched, and started after Scarlet, but before I could ANOTHER whore came up.  
  
"Giselle!" Jack exclaimed.  
  
"Who is she?" the whore asked, pointed at me. I gulped. With that, the whore slapped Jack hard across the face . . . but THIS time, I was ready. I tackled her, screeching, "YOU BLOODY ANAL RETENDANT BITCH!!! GET AWAY FROM MY JACKIE-POO!" All the time biting and clawing and hitting and hissing and etc, etc.  
  
It took Jack, Will, and Laurel all together to haul me off her, as it were. Actually, Jack was biting back laughter and Will and Laurel just looked fearful. We continued walking, and eventually reached a barn. Jack had pulled a bucket of water out of his magic hat, and carried it into the barn with him. Lying on the barn floor on top of some pigs (FYI: the barn smelled SO freakin dreadful . . .). Jack threw the water onto the man, who proceeded to scream "CURSE YE FOR BREATHIN, YOU SLACK JAWED IDIOT!!" And brandished a rather pathetic looking knife. He then realized who it was that had woken him.  
  
"Mother's love, Jack! You should know better to wake a man when he's sleeping! 's bad luck." the man said.  
  
"Ah, fortunately I know how to counter it. The man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it while he listens to a proposition from the man who did the waking," Jack replied.  
  
Laurel giggled loudly, and everyone stared at her. "Er, carry on!" she said.  
  
"That'll about do it," the woken man said.  
  
We then proceeded to go a pub where I swear EVERY SINGLE person in it was drunk and most of them were beating (or attempting to beat) each other up. Jack SOMEHOW managed to purchase three drinks, handed me one, and carried the other two to a table where the man (whom Jack had told me was named Mr. Gibbs) was sitting.  
  
"Keep a sharp eye," Jack said to Laurel and Will, who had been appointed to keep the fighting people away from us. Laurel wasn't keeping a sharp eye on anything but (guess?) Will. She was drooling, too. I snorted and rolled my eyes. That girl really was hopeless. Jack and I sat down at the table with Gibbs. Very close to one another, I might add. Very, very close. Heh heh heh . . .  
  
"Now, what's the nature of this venture of your'n?" Gibbs asked.  
  
"I'm goin after the Black Pearl," Jack responded, nearly cause Gibbs to choke on his ale. I snickered. Jack put his arm around my shoulder. O.o  
  
"I know where it's going to be, and I'm going to take it," Jack said smugly.  
  
"Yesh he ish, cause he's so BRAVE!" I said, throwing my arms around Jack's neck.  
  
Gibbs stared at me, then said, "Jack , it's a fool's errand. Well, you know better than me the tales of the Black Pearl."  
  
"That's why I know what Barbossa is up to . . . all I need is a crew."  
  
"From what I hear tell of Captain Barbossa, he's not a man to suffer fools nor strike a bargain with one."  
  
"MY JACKIE POO ISN'T A FOOL!" I protested loudly. Loudly enough that Laurel and Will turned to stare at me.  
  
"Well, then I say it's a very good thing I'm not a fool then, aye?" Jack said, as if I hadn't said anything. Hmph.  
  
"Prove me wrong. What makes ye think Barbossa will give up his ship to you?"  
  
"Let's just say it's a matter of leverage, aye?" Jack said, nodding at Will. I snickered. Again. Even though I didn't really know WHY this time . . . but it felt appropriate. "The kid?" "That is the child of Bootstrap Bill Turner. His only child, savvy?" "Is he now? Leverage says you, I think I feel a change in the wind says I. I'll find us a crew, there's bound to be some sailors on this rock crazy as you." One can only hope. Take what you can." we all toasted. ".Give nothing back."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
WELL? WHAT THE )(&#%*&@^! DO YOU THINK??? MEEP!! REVIEW PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!! Remember, all flamers will be fed to Noodles.  
  
Noodles: ARRR ME MATEY!!  
  
World: O.O  
  
Heh heh.ANYWAY.review!!! 


	7. Spinach is good for your colon

Disclaimer: (sigh) MUST I tell you again that we DO NOT own ANY of the POTC characters, and that we only own Sarah and Laurel, considering the fact that we ARE Sarah and Laurel? Capicsi? Gooooooooood. A/N: All reviewers get cybercookies. And for the people who want to know where the script is, I say, here: hostultra.com/~vampfiles/piratesscript2.html  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
~Laurel POV~  
  
All I can say about the experience in Tortuga is that it was... interesting, to say the least. Gibbs seemed like a nice man, but all of those drunks just plain freaked me out. I was practically clinging to Will the whole night. Not that I minded, heh heh...  
  
That night we slept on the Interceptor. Jack and Will were nice enough to give Sarah and I the captain's quarters, which were the nicest rooms on the ship. They are so sweet. (sigh)  
  
The next morning Sarah and I woke up a bit early and crept down into the storage hold at the bottom of the ship. We dug through some of the crates until we found one filled with women's dresses. We each picked out a couple and lugged them back up to our quarters. I put on a moss green one (to match my eyes), while Sarah put on a deep purple one. They weren't fancy, but they weren't ugly, either, and they certainly were much more comfortable than the ones we usually wore.  
  
By the time we finished getting ready, both Jack and Will were up and about. We met them out on the docks, where a line of men was standing as though in the army.  
  
"Good morning, loves," Jack said as we came out. I thought Sarah would swoon.  
  
"Hello," she squeaked. Good lord...  
  
"Good morning, Laurel," Will said as I took my spot next to him (as usual).  
  
"It is a nice day, isn't it?" I said sweetly. He nodded. "But who are all of these people?" I asked, gesturing to the line of men.  
  
"I think it might..." He became silent as Gibbs started talking.  
  
"Feast your eyes, Captain. All of them, faithful hands before the mast. Every man worth his salt, and crazy to boot!" Gibbs said proudly.  
  
"Indeed..." I muttered.  
  
"This is your able bodied crew?" Sarah asked Jack.  
  
"You, sailor!" Jack called, completely ignoring her. He walked up to a man with a gorgeous blue and yellow parrot on his shoulder.  
  
"Cotton, sir," Gibbs said.  
  
"Mr. Cotton, do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death? Mr. Cotton! Answer me!" Mr. Cotton refused to talk.  
  
"He's a mute, sir. Poor devil had his tongue cut out, so he trained the parrot to talk for him. No one's yet figured how..." Gibbs said. Mr. Cotton opened his mouth and revealed that he, in fact, didn't have a tongue. I wrinkled my nose and covered my mouth with my hand. I was going to THROW UP!!!  
  
"Mr. Cotton's... parrot. Same question," Jack said uneasily.  
  
"(squawk) Wind in the sails! Wind in the sails!" the parrot said.  
  
"Mostly, we figure that means 'yes'."  
  
"O'course it does!" Jack said. He turned to us. "Satisfied?"  
  
"Well, you've proved them mad," Will muttered. I started laughing nervously. We were actually going to be around these people for longer than an hour!? How disgusting...  
  
"What's the benefit for us?" said a sailor a bit farther down the line. We all walked down. Jack lifted the hat off the person's head. It was a WOMAN!!  
  
"Anamaria!" Jack said happily. She smacked him hard across the face. I thought Sarah would claw her eyes out. Will and I had to physically restrain her (again) from doing so.  
  
"You stole my boat!" Anamaria said angrily.  
  
"Actually-" Jack started, but she slapped him again. "-borrowed, borrowed without permission. But with every intention of bringing it back to you."  
  
"But you didn't!"  
  
"You'll get another one!" Jack reassured her.  
  
"I will?" "A better one," Sarah piped up.  
  
"A better one!" Jack said happily.  
  
"That one!" Will and I said, pointing at the Interceptor at the same time.  
  
"What one? THAT ONE!?" Jack squealed. He looked at Anamaria and winced. "That one..." he said resignedly.  
  
"What say you?" Anamaria asked the crew. They all cheered, "Aye!"  
  
"Erm... aye?" Sarah said. Jack gave her a smile. "Where'd you get those dresses?" he asked.  
  
Sarah and I shot each other little glances. "Erm... well... we sort of found them below deck," Sarah muttered. I nodded in agreement. Jack laughed out loud.  
  
"You girls are well on your way to becoming pirates!" he said proudly as we boarded the ship. I looked over at Sarah and we both waggled our eyebrows.  
  
Nothing really happened for the rest of that day. Mostly Sarah and I were pushed out of the way whenever we offered our help. Bloody pirates. But that night, we sailed straight into a storm.  
  
"You two get into the cabin and stay there!" Will shouted over the wind and rain.  
  
"But WILL!! We want to help, and you need all the assistance you can get!" I complained. He looked at me, then at Sarah, then sighed. "All right, then. But if anything bad happens, you're coming right back here."  
  
"YAY!" Sarah and I squealed. We ran to the nearest person, Mr. Gibbs, who was pulling on some rope. "Let us help you!" I shouted over the noise. Gibbs nodded, then Sarah and me pulled on the rope. Even then all of our combined strength couldn't make it move. We finally had to get Will to come help us.  
  
"How can we sail to an island that nobody can find with a compass that doesn't work?" he shouted to Mr. Gibbs. By this time I was soaked to the skin, but I was having so much fun.  
  
"Aye, the compass doesn't point north but we're not trying to find north, are we?" Gibbs said with a smile.  
  
"I don't get it," I shouted to Sarah.  
  
"It points to La Isla de Muerta, you twit!" she yelled back.  
  
"Oh... ACK!!!" A huge wave came and washed over us, causing me and Sarah to fall down... well, me to fall down, Sarah to fall on top of me.  
  
"Owwww..." we groaned.  
  
"Are you two all right?" Will asked as he pulled Sarah off of me.  
  
"Yes, I'm fine." God, that scared the bejesus out of me...  
  
"Good. But now I want you both to go back into the cabin," he said. I looked up and gave him a puppy face.  
  
"Pwease?"  
  
"Laurel, you can't. You could have gotten hurt, and I wouldn't want that to happen. Now please go back to the cabin."  
  
I did my cutesy pouty thing. "Oh all right." I dragged Sarah up off the deck and into the cabin, where it was (fortunately) nice and dry.  
  
We changed out of our sopping wet dresses and into some nice dry ones that we had snitched earlier that day.  
  
"Well, what should we do with the wet ones?" Sarah asked.  
  
"Erm... I dunno. We can't exactly hang them outside to dry, can we?"  
  
"No. But we could... THROW THEM OUT THE WINDOW!"  
  
"What?" I asked, dragging my dress around behind me and making huge puddles everywhere. I was searching for some place to stash it.  
  
"Well, no one will care if we throw them into the ocean, will they?" Sarah asked, daintily skipping around the puddles I had made.  
  
"No, I suppose not..." I opened the port hole and yanked on my dress. Unfortunately for Sarah, she was standing on it. Her legs flew out from under her and she landed with a "clonk" on the floor.  
  
"DAMMIT!!!" she screeched. "LAUREL, WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO STUPID!!!!"  
  
"You forget, darling, that I am a blonde," I replied as I tossed the dress out the window.  
  
"I should remember to tie pillows to my arse when I'm around you," Sarah muttered as she heaved herself off the floor. She chucked her dress out the window. After she had closed the window, we headed back towards our beds. However, we both had forgotten about the puddles I had made.  
  
"YAAAAH!!" we screeched as we fell on our bums. Sarah turned bright red as she glared at me. "Why couldn't I have had Elizabitch's huge arse?!" she yelled, and threw herself into her bed.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Laurel? Sarah? Wake up," I heard a voice say. I slowly opened my eyes and looked into the gorgeous brown ones of none other than Will.  
  
"Wnggh," I said, and buried my face back into my pillow. Will chuckled and pulled the sheet off of me. "Gaaa!! It's cold!" I yelped, leaping up.  
  
"Why is there water all over the floor?" Will asked. I looked down and saw that I was standing in one of the puddles.  
  
"Erm... a leak, perhaps? Hehe..." I muttered, blushing.  
  
"Oh," he said, and we walked out onto the deck together. We wandered around the ship, talking about all sorts of things. We found a bench at the stern and sat down upon it. For a few moments there wasn't any talking, then Will said, "Laurel?"  
  
"Yeeeees?"  
  
He stared intently at me, then leaned forward a bit. HOLY GOD, HE WAS GOING TO KISS ME!! I closed my eyes and puckered up my lips, which was when he tapped my nose. "You have a bit of dirt right there," he said. I opened my eyes angrily.  
  
"ERRRGH!!!" I growled, and stalked off, leaving poor Will behind with a very confused look on his handsome face. I rounded the corner and bumped into Sarah. "Sometimes I could just slug him!!" I peeked around the corner and saw him staring off into the distance. "But then I look upon his sweet little face and I just can't!"  
  
Sarah stared at me with a frown. "You are just hopeless," she muttered. "Oh, and did you know that you have some dirt right there on your face?"  
  
"Yes, I did know," I said through gritted teeth. I rolled my eyes as Sarah licked her finger and wiped it across my nose. "Thank you, mother," I growled.  
  
"I'm bored," Sarah said suddenly. I nodded in agreement.  
  
"What can we do, though?"  
  
"Well... let's go see Jack!" she said happily.  
  
I sighed. "Oh, all right." Sarah squealed and dragged me along behind her.  
  
We found "Captain Jack" at the bow of the ship, looking towards an island about ten miles away. "What is that, Jack?" Sarah asked.  
  
"It's La Isla de Muerta," he said gloomily.  
  
"Oh joy," I said dryly as Will walked up to us.  
  
"Laurel are you feeling okay? You seemed very upset when I saw that dirt on your nose," he said.  
  
"Oh, yes, I'm fine. I had just... erm... washed my face especially well last night," I lied.  
  
"Ah," he said, still looking a bit skeptical.  
  
We sailed closer to the Isla de Muerta, until we were inside one of the lagoons. Everyone lined up along the edge of the ship and looked out.  
  
"Puts a chill in me bones how many honest sailors have lost their lives here," Gibbs said. Old masts of wrecked vessels were sticking up out of the water all over the place, as well as the bows and/or sterns of ships.  
  
After a few minutes we reached some sort of cave carved into the side of the island. "Young Mr. Turner and I will go in," Jack announced.  
  
"What about us?" Sarah and I complained at the same time.  
  
"No, you two. We already have one woman kidnapped; we don't need to make it three," Will said.  
  
"Captain, what if the worst should happen?" Gibbs asked as Jack and Will climbed into the rowboat.  
  
"Keep to the code," Jack said.  
  
"Aye, the code..." We watched as the two of them rowed into the cave.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Got any twos?"  
  
"Go fish," Sarah said.  
  
"Damnation. I HATE this game!" I cried, slamming my cards down onto the deck. We had been playing stupid "Go fish" for last HOUR, and believe me, it gets boring fast.  
  
"Well, what else is there to do?" Sarah said calmly. She was only in a good mood because she was winning.  
  
"I don't know! Something other than cards!" I stood up and started pacing around the deck. "Where are Will and Jack? What's taking them so long?"  
  
"Maybe Elizabeth died," Sarah said hopefully. I grinned. That would be a pleasant turn of events...  
  
"There they are!" someone shouted suddenly. Sarah and I ran to the hull and looked over the side. "There they are!" I repeated happily. Sarah squinted and peered towards the rowboat and her face fell. "Where is my Jackie- poo?!" she screeched. I looked back out at the boat. She was right: there were only two people in it, and Jack wasn't one of them.  
  
"Uh-oh..." I murmered.  
  
We ran up to the bow of the ship where Will and Elizabeth were climbing up a rope ladder. Will came up first. He then turned to aid Elizabitch.  
  
"WILL!!! You're okay!" I said, flinging my arms around madly. I practically threw myself onto him, which, FORTUNATELY, caused him to lose grip on Elizabitch's hand. Soon we heard a scream and a huge "kersplash".  
  
"Well, I know what hit first," Sarah muttered. I whispered back, "Well, you still want that huge arse of hers?"  
  
"Elizabeth! Are you alright?" Will cried down to her. I smirked over the edge of the boat. "Yeah, are you okay Lizzie?" I said unenthusiastically. "Sorry 'bout that." She growled loudly and started climbing back up the ladder. She fell two more times before finally making it all the way onto the deck. By this time the whole crew was laughing, and even Will was grinning slightly.  
  
As Elizabeth scrambled up onto the deck, Will turned to me and Sarah. "Laurel, go get Elizabeth some dry clothes. Sarah, get me some bandages, please?" I didn't want to do it on behalf of Elizabitch, but Will was just so darn sweet.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
So? What does y'all think? REVIEW PLEASE! 


	8. Hell and Damnation

Disclaimer: Ok, lookie here people. WE. DO. NOT. OWN. POTC. AND IF YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO HAVE ALREADY KNOWN THAT WELL AARRRGG!!!  
  
YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!! WE FINALLY HIT 100 REVIEWS!!!! YAAAY!!! Luv n kisses to all our WONDERFUL reviewers (and many cybercookies too).  
  
Oh yes, and Thankies to Ginamaria for the chapter title! Heh, your insanity is handy.  
  
Thankies to y'all SO much for reviewing!!  
  
R&R please!  
  
~Sarah POV~  
  
As Elizabeth and Will went down to the hold to bandage Elizabitch up, thoughts raced through my mind. I could NOT leave Jack there all by his lonesome! In a moment of reckless abandon, I threw myself into one of the rowboats and lowered it quickly into the water.  
  
"SARAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??" Laurel shouted from the deck. Several of our crew had also come running.  
  
"I HAVE TO SAVE JACK!!" I screamed. And with that, I started rowing faster than probably anyone every has. I reached the cave, jumped out the boat, and ran smack into two pirates.  
  
"Arrr, not ANOTHER one!" one of the pirates said.  
  
"Aye, ANOTHER bloody one," the other pirate responded.  
  
They dragged me over to where all the pirates were standing circled around my poor Jack, who was leaning on an oar. They shoved me at Jack, who looked rather surprised.  
  
"Sarah! What are you doing here?" he whispered.  
  
"I couldn't leave you here, Jackie," I murmured. He smiled and put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close. I grinned. Just then, that horrible conversation piece of a captain, Barbossa, came up. Completely ignoring me, he said to Jack, "How the blazes did you get off that island?"  
  
"When you marooned me on that godforsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow."  
  
"Ah, well, I won't be makin' that mistake again. Gents, you'll all remember Captain Jack Sparrow, and the lady. Kill them."  
  
"MEEP!" I shrieked, and buried my head in Jack's shoulder.  
  
~~~MEANWHILE, ONBOARD THE INTERCEPTOR~~~  
  
~Laurel POV~ I couldn't believe Sarah had just LEFT me. ALL ALONE. Well, I had Will, of course, but he had disappeared below deck with Elizabeth.  
  
Below deck with Elizabitch.  
  
"EEK!" I screeched and made a beeline for the hold. I barged into the room they were sitting in. Will was VERY close to Elizabeth and had his hand on her face. Not the least bit embarrassed, I yelled "NOOOO!!!" and lunged for Will, who looked rather startled.  
  
Elizabitch flushed red, then, as if attempting to pretend nothing had happened, took the medallion off and handed it to Will.  
  
"It's yours," she said.  
  
"HAH! I KNEW IT!! THEIF!!" I shouted triumphantly. Elizabeth growled in my direction.  
  
"Don't you think you ought to go check on the crew or something, Laurel?" Elizabeth asked in a sickly sweet voice.  
  
"No." I replied in the same tone.  
  
Will tried his best not to laugh, then turned solemn again and looked at the medallion. "I thought I'd lost it on the day they rescued me. It was a gift from my father, he sent it to me. Why did you take it?"  
  
"BECAUSE she's a #%^@ kleptomaniac, THAT'S why!" I said. They ignored me, as always.  
  
"Because I was afraid you were a pirate. That would've been awful," Elizabeth said, sniveling.  
  
"It wasn't your blood they needed.it was my father's blood.my blood.the blood of a pirate," Will said quietly.  
  
"I'm so sorry Will, please forgive me," Elizabeth begged.  
  
"WHY would he forgive YOU, you monkey mustard faced buffoon?" (said by yours truly, of course)  
  
Will (to my delight) slammed the medallion very hard on the table and Elizabitch left. MUAHAHA. That left me ALL alone with none other than the extremely hot, sexy, cute, handsome, lickable, sweet, drool-worthy, caring, lovable, dear, precious Will.  
  
"She was wrong to steal it, Will," I said, "but she has a big arse and I think that's where she keeps her silly brain . . ."  
  
~~~MEANWHILE, IN THE PIRATES CAVE~~~  
  
~Sarah POV~  
  
As Barbossa walked away and all the men drew their pistols, Jack suddenly spoke up, "The girls blood didn't work, did it?" Ah, yes, my sweet dear brave Jackie-poo would save us.  
  
"Hold your fire!" Barbossa commanded. The pirates looked very, very disappointed. "You know who's blood we need?"  
  
"I know who's blood ye need."  
  
Teehee.  
  
So, Barbossa decided that we would be very helpful and decided to take us on board the Black Pearl. The pirates actually let us walk on our own (though I was still clinging to Jack's arm, and he didn't seem to mind) which was nice. We boarded, and Barbossa, Jack, and myself went into Barbossa private dining cabin and then we all set sail. I sat staring at the monkey. The very, very ka-UTE monkey, while Jack and Barbossa talked. When I started drooling over the monkey, Barbossa growled and snatched it away from me.  
  
"WAAAH!" I sniveled, and plopped down on a chair next to Jack. And decided that I would listen to their conversation.  
  
"So you expect to leave me standing on some beach with none but a name and your word it's the one I need and watch you sail away on my ship?" Barbossa asked, chuckling.  
  
"Well, DUH." I said. They ignored me, AGAIN. By golly gee whiz, I was TIRED of being ignored.  
  
"No. I expect to leave you standing on some beach with absolutely no name at all, watching me sail away on MY ship and then I'll shout the name back to you, muahaha! Savvy?"  
  
Barbossa said, "But that still leaves us with the problem of me standing on some beach with naught but a name and your word it's the one I need."  
  
"Well, you know, you really are a bloody crouton trout faced idjiot," I muttered. Jack smiled and handed me an apple. Yummay.  
  
"Of the two of us, I am the only one who hasn't committed mutiny, therefore my word is the one we'll be trusting. Even though you really shouldn't trust me anyway because I'm dishonest. Although, I suppose I should be thanking you because in fact, if you hadn't betrayed me and left me to die on some stupid island with lots and lots of rum, I would have an equal share in that curse same as you, and in the moonlight I'd be this icky disgustable skeleton thingy with really bad breath. Instead I've achieved a state of perpetual drunkenness, thanks to you. Funny ol' world, innit?"  
  
Barbossa rolled his eyes, and then Bo'sun {A/N: for those of you who don't know, Bo'sun is that pirate with beads imbedded into his skin . . . ew . . .} walked in and said, "Yo, Cap, we're comin' up on the Interceptor."  
  
So Barbossa went topside, and Jack followed Barbossa, and I (naturally) followed Jack. Barbossa was looked through a spyglass at the Interceptor, when Jack swooped down in front of him and said, "I'm having bit of a thought here, Barbossa. What say we run up a flag of truce? I scurry over to the Interceptor and I negotiate the return of your medallion, aye? What say you to that?"  
  
"Now you see, Jack, that's exactly the attitude that lost you the Pearl. People are easy to search when they're dead. Lock them in the brig," Barbossa said, pointing to Jack and me.  
  
Gulp.  
  
"Erm, alright then but can I finish my apple?" Jack asked hopefully.  
  
"No."  
  
"Pish."  
  
"Haul on the main brace. Make ready the guns. And run out the sweeps," Barbossa called to his men as we were led away. Bo'sun dragged us down into the brig and locked us in a cell. There was about an inch of water on the floor. As Bo'sun walked away, I said, "Apparently there's a leak." Jack chuckled, then sighed.  
  
"Don't worry Jack, we'll get out of here. After all, you ARE Captain Jack Sparrow," I said.  
  
"Aye, that I am, love," Jack replied, grinning.  
  
~Laurel POV~  
  
Will and I went up on deck only to find that the crew was running around. I went over to Anamaria, who was steering, and asked, "What's happening?"  
  
"The bloody Black Pearl is gaining on us," Anamaria said.  
  
"This is the fastest ship in the Caribbean!" Elizabitch said, popping out of no where.  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Elizabeth, dear, this obviously ISN'T the fastest ship in the Caribbean if THAT ship is gaining on us! DUH!!"  
  
"We're shallow in the draft, right?" Elizabeth said.  
  
"Say wha-?" Will and I said simultaneously. No one answered us.  
  
"Aye," Anamaria said.  
  
"Well, can't we lose them among those . . . things?" Elizabitch said, gesturing.  
  
"Shoals," I offered helpfully.  
  
"We don't have to outrun 'em long, just long enough," Gibbs said.  
  
"Lighten the ship, stern to stern!" Anamaria commanded.  
  
"Throw all the crap that we don't need off the boat!" I yelled to the men. They gave me a puzzled look, but immediately complied.  
  
We watched as the Black Pearl put out its oars. Uh-oh, this was bad . . . they were gaining, and fast.  
  
"It was a good plan, up till now," Anamaria said to Elizabitch.  
  
"Gibbs! We have to make a stand! We must fight! Load the guns!" Will shouted.  
  
"With what?" Anamaria asked.  
  
"Well if y'all hadn't thrown the cannonballs off . . ." I muttered.  
  
"Anything, everything! Anything we have left," Will said.  
  
"Load the guns!" Gibbs shouted.  
  
"Yes! With, forks, knives, spoons, and that BLOODY PARROT!!" I yelled.  
  
"She'll rake us without ever presenting a target," Gibbs said nervously a minute or two later.  
  
"Lower the anchor on the right side. On the starboard side!" Elizabitch said. Damn, I hated her, but she DID have a good idea.  
  
"It certainly presents the element of surprise," Will said.  
  
"You're daft lady! You both are!" Anamaria insisted. No shit . . . but daft is good sometimes.  
  
"Daft like Jack! Lower the starboard anchor! Do it ye dogs or it's you we'll load into the cannons!" Gibbs bellowed.  
  
"Can't we load them into the cannons ANYWAY?" I whined. Naturally, I was ignored.  
  
I grabbed onto the side of the deck as the boat swung around. The Black Pearl saw what was coming and retracted their starboard oars. Soon both ships were aligned side to side.  
  
"FIRE!!" Barbossa and Elizabeth shouted at the same time. The ships immediately started firing at one another. Spoons vs. Cannonballs. Gee, I wonder who'll win?  
  
~Sarah POV~  
  
As Jack and I sat in the cell, a hole was blown in the hull by several pieces of silverware.  
  
"STOP BLOWIN' HOLES IN MY SHIP!" Jack shouted out the hole while I thought to myself, "Wtf?"  
  
It was then that Jack noticed a canteen had been shot in as well. He opened in up only to find to his disappointment that it was empty. Suddenly, I noticed that the shot from the cannon had destroyed the lock on the door.  
  
"Jack! Look!" I said, pointed to the door. We gleefully went out and up onto the deck. A pirate swung from a rope onto the deck and collapsed. Jack took the rope, slid his arm across my waist, and said to the unconscious pirate, "Thanks very much." And with that, we swung across to the Interceptor. As soon as I was on deck, I was immediately knocked down when something, or rather, someone threw herself at me.  
  
"LAUREL!!!" I yelled.  
  
"SARAH! YOU'RE OK!" She said blissfully. We hugged happily and then went back to fending off pirates. Suddenly, Elizabeth flew past us yelling "Will!" and peering down into the grate. Laurel and I ran over to the grate with her.  
  
"Laurel! Elizabeth! Sarah!" We tried to get the grate open, but it was to no avail, and we were soon dragged away by pirates.  
  
Next thing I knew, we were all tied together around the mast on the Black Pearl.  
  
"If any of you so much as THINK the word parley, I'll have your guts for garters," one of the pirates growled. Suddenly the Interceptor, which by this point was about twenty yards away, blew up. All at once, Elizabeth, Laurel, and I broke free of the rope and ran over the side of the ship and yelled "WILL!" I ignored the hurt look Jack was giving me.  
  
"You've got to stop it! Stop it!" Elizabitch screeched at Barbossa.  
  
"Welcome back, Missies. You took advantage of our hospitality last time. All fair's now that you return the favor." Barbossa said, chuckling, and shoved us towards the crew. YUCKIE!!! "NOOO!" all three of just shrieked.  
  
Suddenly, Will appeared on deck. "Barbossa!" He called, and grabbed up Jack's pistol from where it lay, pointed it at Barbie, and said, pointing to Elizabeth, Laurel, and I, "They go free!"  
  
"What's in your head, boy?" Barbie said.  
  
"The three of them go free!"  
  
"You've only got one shot and we can't die," Barbie said smugly.  
  
"Tomato face," I muttered.  
  
Jack looked at Will as said pleadingly, "don't do anything stupid!"  
  
"You can't . . . I can," Will said, pointing the pistol at himself.  
  
"NOOOOO!" Laurel, Elizabitch, and I yelled at the same time and struggled to get away from the pirates that were holding us.  
  
"Like that," Jack muttered.  
  
"Who ARE you?" Barbie asked.  
  
"No one. He's no one. A distant cousin of my aunt's sister's nephew's daughter twice removed. Lovely singing voice, though. Eunuch," Jack said quickly.  
  
"HE! IS NOT! A EUNUCH!" Laurel screamed while Elizabeth and I growled.  
  
"My name is Will Turner. My father was Bootstrap Bill Turner. His blood runs in my veins. On my word do as I say or I'll pull this trigger and be lost forever to Davy Jones' Locker."  
  
"Name your terms, Mr. Turner," Barbie said.  
  
"Elizabeth, Laurel, and Sarah go free!"  
  
"Yes, we know that one. Anything else?"  
  
Jack pointed hopefully at himself. "And the crew! The crew are not to be harmed," Will added. Jack looked hurt. AWWW, POOR JACK!!  
  
"Agreed," Barbie said.  
  
And THEN, next thing I knew, Laurel, Elizabeth, and I were being forced to walk the plank. ARRG.  
  
"Barbi-I mean, Barbossa, you lying bastard, you swore they'd go free!"  
  
"Hey, why are you making my poor sweet Sarah walk the plank?" Jack asked, and was ignored.  
  
"Don't dare impugn me honor, boy. I'm smelly enough as it is. I agreed she'd go free it was you who failed to specify when or where, so I got to choose, I THIS IS WHAT I CHOSE SO NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH! Though does seem a shame to lose something so fine, don't it lads?"  
  
"Aye!" The pirates said.  
  
"So I'll be having my purdy dress back before you go. And I think I'll be having you two's dresses as well," Barbie said, addressing the three of us.  
  
"Why you bloody banana brained tissue headed salad face . . ." I growled. Several pirates pointed their pistols at us.  
  
"FINE!" I snapped and took off my dress and threw it at him, Laurel and Elizabitch following suit. The pirates whistled in delight at the sight of us in our shifts. Purple faced rubbing alcohol sniffers.  
  
"Ooh, it's still warm," Barbossa said, holding Elizabeth's dress up to his cheek.  
  
"Off you go now!" A pirate said. We gulped and gazed down at the water.  
  
"Too long!" Bo'sun said, and shook the plank, causing Elizabitch and Laurel to fall in. I managed to keep my balance, and was yanked back on deck by Jack, but only to have swords pointed at our throats. Jack gulped and said, "I'd really rather hoped we were past all this."  
  
"Jack. Jack! Did ya not notice? That bit of island is the same one that we made you Governor of on our last little trip," Barbie said. I growled. Then we were both shoved off the ship and into the water, after Jack was given his pistol. We both managed to swim to shore, where Laurel and Elizabitch were waiting. "That's the second time I've had to watch that man sail away with my ship," Jack said mournfully, then started walking towards the center of the island. The three of us followed him.  
  
"But you were marooned on this island before, weren't you? So we can escape in the same way you did then," Elizabitch protested.  
  
"To what point and purpose, young missy? The Black Pearl is gone and unless the three you have a rudder and a lot of sails hidden in that bodices, unlikely, young Mr. Turner will be dead long before you can reach him," Jack said.  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAH!! 'S NOT FAIR!!" Laurel and Elizabitch both sobbed, flinging themselves at each other. I gaped.  
  
"But you're Captain Jack Sparrow. You vanished from under the eyes of seven agents of the East India Company. You sacked Nassau Port without even firing a shot. Are you the pirate I've read about or not? How did you escape last time?" Elizabitch asked after she was done sniveling.  
  
"Last time.I was here a grand total of three days, alright? Last time [opens a secret cellar door] .the rumrunners used this island as a cache. Came by and I was able to barter a passage off. From the looks of things, they've long been out of business. Probably have your bloody ugly stupid dorky geeky jack ass friend Norrington to thank for that," Jack replied.  
  
"So that's it then? That's the secret grand adventure of the infamous Jack Sparrow ? You spent three days lying on a beach, drinking rum?!" Elizabeth asked, as if it were something to be ashamed of.  
  
"REALLY? That's what you did? AWESOME!!!" I said happily, "I LOVE RUM!"  
  
Jack grinned at me. "Welcome to the Caribbean, love," he said, and handed me a bottle of rum.  
  
~Later that night~  
  
"We're devils and black sheep and really bad eggs. Drink up me 'earties yo ho! Yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me," Jack, Laurel, and I sang, dancing around the bonfire, obviously very, very drunk, while Elizabitch sat on the beach some distance away, rolling her eyes at us.  
  
"I love this song! Really bad eggs! Woo. When I get the Pearl back, I'm gonna teach it to the whole crew and we'll sing it all the time!" Jack said, as he and I fell onto the sand. He put his arm around my shoulders and I said, "Yes, and you'll be positively the most fearsome pirate in the Spanish Main."  
  
"Not just the Spanish Main, love, the entire ocean, the entire wo'ld. Wherever we want to go, that's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails that's what a ship needs but what a ship is.what the Black Pearl really is.is freedom," Jack said.  
  
"It must really terrible for you to be trapped on this Island, Jack," Elizabeth said, strolling up and plucking a half empty bottle of rum off the ground.  
  
"Oh yes, but the company is much better, and the scenery has certainly improved," he said, holding me close. I gazed into his gorgeous, beautiful, black-lined eyes and just . . . drooled. Then I realized that his face was awfully close to mine . . . by golly, HE WAS GONNA KISS ME!! AAH!!! And then he did. And we did. For a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very long time. Then Elizabeth gave a very loud "AHEM." And we stopped. But continued to stare at each other.  
  
It was then that I realized that I was in love.  
  
~  
  
Coming up next time: THE RUM SCENE!!!! YEE!!  
  
So0o0o0o0o what do y'all think? I bet that many of you are feeling jealous of Sarah right now . . . heh heh heh. But do review please!! 


	9. Bob is a headless paperclip

Disclaimer: WE. DO. NOT. OWN. POTC. Thank you.  Have a nice life.

A/N: Thankies and cyberCAKES to our reviewers. 

~*~*~*~

~Laurel POV~

I woke up the next morning to a major headache and the smell of smoke.  "Unghh, hangover..." I muttered as I coughed and sat up.  My eyes got huge as I took in my surroundings.

"HOLY MOTHER OF CHEESE!!!" I screeched.  The island was on fire!  "SARAAAAH!!!!!" I pounced on the sleeping figures of Sarah and Jack.  

"Arrgh!  Laurel, get off!" Sarah said, trying to push me off.  

"Poo on you!" I shouted and shook Jack.  "JACK!!! _JACK!!!_ THE ISLAND'S ON FIRE!!!!"

"_What!?"_ he yelled as he sat up.  All of the palm trees were on fire, along with a big pile of supplies.  Hey, how'd those get there?

"**_ELIZABETH!!!_**" the three of us roared.  Elizabitch poked her head around the pile of supplies.

"No! No! Bad! Stop!  You've burned everything!" Jack whined.

"The food!" I screeched.  

"The shade!" Jack complained.

"The _rum!_" Sarah wailed.

"Yes, the rum is gone, you silly girl," Elizabitch said triumphantly.

"WHY IS THE RUM GONE!?" Jack and Sarah roared.

"One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men and women into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire Royal Navy is out looking for me, do you really think that there is even the slightest chance that they won't see it?" Elizabeth asked.

"And three because you're a selfish little idiot that only cares about herself!" I spat.  Elizabeth simply ignored me.  Little bitch.

"BUT WHY IS THE RUM GONE!?" Jack yelled.

Elizabeth plopped her fat ass on the sand.  "Just wait, you three. You give it one hour, maybe two, keep a weather eye out and then you will see white sails on that horizon."  

Jack pulled out his pistol and looked like he would shoot her.  "Do it!" Sarah hissed.  He grinned at her, but put the pistol away.  Damnation.  "Come on you two," he muttered as he stalked away.  Sarah skipped up and held onto his arm.  I followed thinking about Will and how he was probably going to die before I saw him again.  I hated Barbossa with a passion.

"Must've been terrible for you to be trapped here, Jack.  Must've been terrible for you… Well it bloody is now!" Jack shouted, imitating Elizabitch's voice.  Sarah and I giggled, then plopped ourselves down in the sand.

"This sucks," I said irritably.

"No kidding.  So does Elizabitch," Sarah muttered.

"Literally and figuratively," I said.  I peered out into the ocean.  "LOOK!!!!" I screeched.

"What?!"

"The _Dauntless_!" I shouted.  Sure enough, about half a mile out, the _Dauntless _had weighed anchor and a rowboat was coming towards us.

"WOOT WOOT!" Sarah and I screamed and waded into the shallow water.  

"There'll be no living with you after this," Jack muttered as he followed us.

~Later, on the _Dauntless_~

The sailors from the Dauntless had rowed us back to the ship and hoisted us up onto the deck.  Of course, Elizabitch had gone first, the idjit.  Then they had hauled up Sarah and I, then finally Jack, who they weren't exactly pleased to see.  

After we were all aboard, my uncle, the biggest idiot known to humanity, had told Elizabeth to go back to his cabin and put on an old army uniform, while Sarah and I had to stand there, half naked, in front of anyone.  Gaa, what a stupid fruit.  Fortunately, we were given cloaks to wrap around our shoulders.  

"Now let's go catch the Pearl!" I said after Elizabeth came back.

"No, we cannot, Miss Swann," Commodore Fruitcake said.

"But we've got to save Will!" Elizabeth complained.  Excuse me?  I think he likes me more than you, darling.

"No. You're safe now. We will return to Port Royal immediately not go gallivanting after pirates!" my uncle retorted.

"GALLIVANTING!? How can you say that!  All you're doing is letting him die!!" I screeched.

"The boy's fate is regrettable but then so is his decision to engage in piracy," my uncle said nonchalantly.

"Yeah, he became a pirate so he could SAVE US, YOU BIG BABOON BUTT!" I yelled.  Sarah clapped her hand over my mouth.  I stood glaring at the governor while Jack sidled up to the Commodore.

"If I may be so bold as to interject my professional opinion. The Pearl was listing near to scuppers after the battle. It's very unlikely she'll be able to make good time. Think about it, the Black Pearl, the last real pirate threat in the Caribbean, mate." He put his hand on the Commodore's shoulder. "How can you pass that up?"

"By remembering that I serve others, Mr. Sparrow, not only myself," the Commodore said, batting away Jack's hand.  Sarah looked like she'd strangle him.

"Commodore, I beg you, please do this. For me…" Elizabeth said, putting on a flirty face, "...as a wedding gift."  My jaw dropped along with Sarah's.  Ewww, she was actually marrying _Norrington!?  _That's just wrong...(gag)

"Elizabeth, are you accepting the Commodore's proposal?" my uncle asked happily.  Wow, he's slow...

"I am," she said, not looking very happy about it.

"A wedding? I LOVE WEDDINGS! Drinks all around!" Jack said happily.  Everyone except Sarah and I glared at him. He sighed.  "I know... clap on the irons, right?"

"," Norrington said.  "Do I make myself clear?"

"Inescapably," Jack said with a grin.

"And you two," Norrington said, turning to us, "will have to promise me that you will stop being such a pain in the behind, and will let me captain this ship, understood?"

"Yes, sir!" Sarah barked, saluting and crossing her fingers behind her back.  I did the same.  Then I squealed and gave Sarah a big gigantic hug.  "We're gonna save Will!" I said happily.

"Laurel... Sarah needs to breathe, please?"

~*~*~*~

(gasp) I know, such a short chapter! The next one will-

**Laurel****:** Will? WHERE!

**Sarah: Shut _up!_ **

(sigh) The next chapter shall be action-packed and funnier. Tootles, little dahlings!!

~*Sarah and Laurel*~


	10. I drink Steak Sauce yummay

Disclaimer: Ooh, you actually _want_ us to put something here? Okay, um... Sarah loves Jack (and Will) and Laurel loves Will.  But, unfortunately, THEY DO NOT OWN THEM.  Happy now?

To all our reviewers: Thanks soooo much!  Sorry for the long wait! Waaaah, it's the last chapter!! *both fall down sobbing* WAAAAAH!!!  But, 'tis a pretty long chapter, so that should make ye feel better, savvy?  Cupcakes, Godiva chocolate and new Porches to all our non-flamers!!! We love you TONS!!!!

This chapter is SOOOO long 'cause there are thank you notes at the end. R&R folks! ENJOY!!!

~*~*~*~

~Laurel POV~

So the _Dauntless turned right back around and sailed for La Isla de Muerta.  All the way there, Elizabeth and I were chewing on our nails, worrying about Will._

"Oh God... Sarah, what if he _dies!?!" I shrieked.  Sarah patted my back.  _

"Don't worry, Laurel.  He won't.  And if he does, then there's plenty of other good-looking men in Port Royale."

I blinked and stared at her.  "You're kidding me, right?"  
On we sailed for the rest of the day.  By nightfall we had reached the island, and Norrington was discussing his plan of action with Gillette.  Jack, Sarah and I were there, too, while Elizabeth stood and stared longingly at the entrance to the cave. 

"... So what ye need to do is go and ambush the pirates, ye savvy?  Simply wait until they come out of their lil' cave and blow their guts to smithereens," Jack explained, his arm around Sarah's waist.  I grinned.  They were so cute together.

"Is that the only way?" Norrington said with a raised eyebrow.

"Listen to my Jackie poo.  I think he'd know better than _you," Sarah sneered.  Woo, go cuz!_

"Look 'ere.  I've known these pirates for many years, and I think **_I_** would know what to do.  Right? So it'd be wise if you take my advice," Jack said.

"Very well. Gillette, ready the troops," Norrington said, obviously not happy about these arrangements.  

~Sarah POV~

"But what about us!?" I cried as Norrington and my Jack walked away.  

"You'll stay here with the rest of the soldiers, love," Jack said, patting my cheek.

"You can't just leave us!" Laurel shrieked.  "Will is in there!  I want to go with!"

"And I also!" Elizabeth piped up. Hrm, maybe if she goes along she'd get killed...

"No, you must stay here, Miss Swann," that big jackoff Norrington said.  "I wouldn't want you to get hurt."

I bit my lip as the soldiers got into the rowboats and started lowering them.  "NO!" I squealed and lunged at the one Jack was in.  But a soldier caught me just as my Jackie's hat disappeared over the railing.  Another soldier grabbed Elizabeth, while Gillette grabbed Laurel, who tried to kick him in the shin.

"Sorry, but it's for your own safety!" he said, dodging Laurel's feet.

"We don't care what Norrington ordered!  I must tell him!  The pirates cannot be killed!" Elizabeth shrieked as they pushed us into the cabin. 

"Listen to her!  For once she's right!  I think..." I exclaimed.

"Don't worry, misses, he's already informed of that.  A little mermaid flopped up on deck and told him the whole story," Gillette said with a smirk, and this awesome, cute little eyebrow thing.  Then he slammed the door.

"Bloody asshole!" Laurel snarled.

"This is Jack Sparrow's doing!" Elizabeth spat as Gillette locked the door.

"Don't blame my Jackie poo for whatever your stupid fiancé told the soldiers to do!  Norrington's the idiot on this ship!" I shot back.

Laurel and I sat scowling at Elizabeth for a few minutes, trying to think of what to do.  Suddenly we heard someone outside the door.

"Elizabeth?" Oh dear God.  It was my stupid uncle.  I looked at Laurel and we both rolled our eyes.  "A moment, please. Elizabeth ? I just want you to know I…I believe you made a very good decision today. Couldn't be more proud of you." While he was talking, I spotted some bed sheets over in the corner.  I tapped Laurel on the shoulder and pointed at them.  She grinned, and we started tying the sheets together.  Elizabeth got up and helped us.  In less than two minutes we had a rope long enough to reach one of the rowboats below us.  Woo!

~Laurel POV~

We shimmied down the makeshift rope and into the rowboat.  Unfortunately, Elizabeth thought it was necessary for her to come with us.  Which it wasn't.  Anyway, we rowed over to where the _Black Pearl_ was.

"Why are we going here?" I asked.

"Because this is where the other pirates are, you idiot," Elizabeth spat.  

"Oh."  We climbed up the side and onto the deck as quietly as possible, just in case Barbie had left some guards.  Suddenly-

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCH!!!!" A little monkey... thing swung down into our faces.  I nearly screamed.  It was a zombie monkey!!!  Sarah clapped her hand over my mouth.  "Aww, it's so cute!!" she gushed.  The monkey cocked its head to the side and went "Ee-eck?"  Elizabeth smirked and threw it over the side of the ship.  We watched as it hit a cannon with a _clunk_.

"Hehe!" Elizabitch giggled.  I swore and slapped her.  "Owies!"  Two heads stuck themselves out of the cannon hole, and my eyes got huge.

"OHMYGOD!" Sarah and I screamed.  They were zombies, too!  What the hell was going on!?!

"What was that?" one of them said.  They both looked up at the three of us and roared.  

"Hurry!!" Elizabeth grabbed our hands and tugged us towards some stairs leading to the hold.  

"No! The evil dead yucky things are down there!!" Sarah squealed.  I nodded, but Elizabitch tugged on our arms and forced us down the stairs.  We hid in a little hallway and watched as two normal men came running past us.  As soon as the moonlight hit them, they turned into the skeletons.  I felt the hair raise up on the back of my neck.  Yeeek!

"Come on!" Elizabeth hissed.  We ran through the hold and found Jack's pirates locked in a cage.  "It's the Swann girls!" Gibbs said happily.  Oh, thank god!  We unlocked the gate and the pirates came swarming out.  Even the little midget was happy to see us.  He ran over and threw his arms around Elizabeth's knees.  

"Right..." Sarah murmured.

"I have a plan," Elizabitch whispered.  We all huddled together as she told us the plan.  

"Awesome," I said with a grin.  Sarah nodded and cackled.  We all crept up onto the deck and got hold of a rowboat and pulled it back.  "When they go over by the railing, let go, okay?" Elizabeth said.  We all nodded as the pirates came around a corner.  Up close they were even more disgusting.  Dead skin and ripped cloth hung all over their bones.  I wrinkled my nose and let go of the boat.  It swung down and hit the pirates.  Their bones flew everywhere and splashed into the water. 

"Yay!" Sarah cheered.  I just stood there with a disgusted look on my face.

~Sarah POV~

I cheered as the pirates' bones flew all over the place.  "All right, now let's go get Jack and Will!" I said excitedly.  Laurel and Elizabeth squealed and ran over to one of the rowboats.  

"All of you with me. Will is in that cave and we must save him. Ready? And heave!" The three of us pushed against the boat.  It wouldn't budge.  I turned around and saw all of the pirates standing there sheepishly.  

"Come on you guys!  We need your help!" Laurel pleaded.

"Any port in the storm," Cotton's parrot said.

"Mr. Cotton's right.  We've got the _Pearl_," Gibbs said.  The pirates nodded.

"What about Jack!?  You can't just leave him!" I protested.

"Jack owes us a ship," one of the pirates said.

"There is the code to consider," Gibbs said.

"The **_code!?!_**" Laurel shrieked.

"You're pirates!  Hang the code and hang the rules!" I screeched.

"They're more like guidelines anyway!" Elizabeth put her two cents in.  The pirates looked at each other.

~*~

"Bloody pirates," Elizabeth murmured.  We were back in our rowboat and going towards the cave.  The pirates had sailed off on the _Pearl__, _leaving us stuck with Norrington and all the other idiot sailors.  Of course, Elizabeth was too good to row the boat, leaving me and Laurel (still just in our shifts) to row.  

Finally we came to the entrance to the cave and leapt out of the boat.  Laurel and I pulled ahead of Elizabeth and stopped as we saw that Will was free.  "Will..." she breathed.

"I'm gonna teach you the meaning of pain," a pirate with a weird hat said.

"You like pain!?!" Elizabeth and Laurel growled through gritted teeth.  Elizabeth picked up a big rod and whacked the pirate with it.  "Try wearing a corset!!" she spat.  Laurel squealed and helped Will up.  I started looking around for Jack, and my eyes became huge.

"Oh. My. God." He was a skeleton thing, too!!!!  "_JAAAAACK!!!"_

_"_Who's side is he on!?" Elizabeth exclaimed.

"Why, hello there, love," Jack said as he was swordfighting with Barbie.  "If you'll excuse me for a minute, Barbossa..." He jogged over out of the moonlight and kissed me, then ran back and started fighting again.

"Awww!" Laurel said as she whacked a skeleton in the face with a gold vase.  "That's so cute... EWWW YOU PERV!!" A skeleton had come and grabbed her around the waist.  "Gerroff me!!  WIIIIIIIILL!!!!" she shrieked.  Will ran over with the rod Elizabeth had used and stuck it through the pirate, as well as two others.  

"Now what?" I asked, looking at the three pirates on the stick. 

"It's a shish-ka-bob!" Laurel said happily.  Will grinned.  "You mean a pirate-ka-bob," he said as lit a bomb, then stuck it, too, inside the pirate.  "We had better run."  We sprinted over to a pile of treasure and hid.  

"Not fair," the pirate squeaked, then blew up.  Body parts flew all over the place.  Elizabeth, Will and I cheered while Laurel sat there looking sick.  Will ran over to the chest and slit his palm.  Jack also cut himself, then tossed the medallion to Will.  My Jackie poo took out his pistol and shot Barbossa in the chest.

"Ten years you carry that pistol and now you waste your shot," Barbossa said with a smirk.  

"He didn't waste it," Will said as he dropped the medallions into the chest.  I watched in awe as blood began to pour from Barbossa's chest.  He looked at it, then at us.  "I feel... cold." Then he died.  Laurel burst out laughing as I started crying.  We all glared at her. 

"What!?"

~Laurel POV~

Oh, come on! Who says "I feel... cold" as their last words!?  Honestly...

"Well... we should return to the _Dauntless_," Elizabeth said, looking at Will.  I growled at her.

"Yes.  Your fiancé will be wanting to know that you're safe," he said quietly.  Elizabeth turned away and walked out of the cave.  Jack swaggered drunkenly up to us with a crown on his head, and a bunch of jewelry on.  "If you were waiting for the opportune moment... that was it," he told Will. My jaw dropped.  Sarah dragged me away, my mouth still hanging open stupidly.  

"Now if you'll be so kind, I'd be much obliged if you'd drop me off my ship," Jack said as he followed us.  We all got back into the rowboat and Will rowed us out of the cave.  

But when we got outside, there was only one ship waiting for us.

"Ooh, Jackie!" Sarah wailed and threw her arms around Jack's neck.

"I'm sorry, Jack," Elizabeth said quietly.  I nodded.  Poor guy.

"They done what's right by them. Can't expect more than that," Jack replied.  Sarah frowned and kissed his cheek.

~*~

A few weeks later was the scheduled hanging for Jack.  All the way to the fort Sarah was sobbing.  I felt so sorry for her.

"Sarah, don't worry.  I'm willing to bet our uncle's mansion that Jack will pull off some daring escape," I said, patting her arm.

She sniffled and grinned.  "R-remember how he escaped on the day we met him?  How he swung on all those ropes, then winked at me?" I smiled and nodded.

"Exactly.  I'm sure it will all turn out okay."

"Honestly, Laurel, do you want such an awful criminal to escape?" my uncle scoffed.

"HE IS **_NOT_** A CRIMINAL!!!" Sarah wailed.  Uncle was so startled that his wig fell off, making the mood in the carriage quite a bit lighter.

We arrived at the fort just as Jack was being led to the gallows.  Sarah gasped and dragged me along up to him.  "Jack!!" she screeched.

Jack looked down at us and smiled.  "Well, hello love.  Came to watch my farewell party, eh?"

"Jack, how can you joke around like that?" Sarah asked.

"Well, there isn't much else I can do, is there?" he said dryly.

"But-"

"Ladies, step away, please," the guy with the black pillowcase on his head said.  Sarah looked up at Jack, who mouthed "I love you."  She burst into tears as I led her back to where the Commodore, Elizabeth, and my uncle were standing.

"This is wrong," Elizabeth said under her breath.

"Commodore Norrington is bound by the law. As are we all," my uncle said.  Dream on, oh mad one.

"Jack Sparrow, be it known that you have-"

"_Captain, _Captain Jack Sparrow..." I heard Jack mutter.  How very like him, I thought with a smile.

"…for your willful commission of crimes against the crown. Said crimes being numerous in quantity and sinister in nature. The most grievous of these to be cited herewith: piracy, smuggling…"

"I can't believe this," Sarah said with tears running down her face.  I gave her a hug. 

"…impersonating an officer of the Spanish Royal Navy, impersonating a cleric of the Church of England..."  Jack smiled and said, "Oh yes..." 

As the man was naming off all the things Jack had done "wrong" in his life, someone came walking through the crowd towards our platform.  "Will!" I yelped.  He was wearing a very nice outfit, complete with a cape and the neatest hat I've ever seen.

"Good day, Commodore.  Governor Swann.  Laurel.  Sarah.  Elizabeth." HA!  He said her name last! HA HA HA!!!

"What is it, Mr. Turner?" the "Commodore" asked irritably.

"I just wanted to let you know, Elizabeth, that I'm sorry you're going to marry such an ass."  Everyone gasped, except for me.  I was too busy laughing.

"And Laurel..." I stopped and looked at him.  He said my name.  MY name.  He could have said any of _their_ names, but he said mine!! "I hope you will make a wiser decision of whom you choose to marry."  With that he turned around and started walking towards the gallows.

I watched him walk away with my mouth hanging open.  "What the bloody hell!? 'I hope you'll make a wiser decision of whom you choose to marry'?!  WHAT IN THE-"

"Laurel!  You do realize that your voice has reached a shouting point, don't you?" Sarah hissed.  I looked up, blinking.  Sure enough, everyone had stopped and stared at me.  Damnation.

"Uh... may God have mercy on your soul," the man said.  Black pillowcase man put the noose on Jack's neck, and Sarah buried her face in my shoulder.  I felt my eyes fill with tears.

~Sarah POV~

I started sobbing and buried my face in Laurel's shoulder.  I heard the hangman pull the lever and I shrieked.  

I heard Elizabitch go, "I can't breathe!" Oh, not again...

"OHMYGOSH!! Sarah, Look!" I heard Laurel yell.  I looked up.  There was Jack, balanced on a sword stuck into the wood.  Will was there, too, fighting with the hangman.  Then he flipped off and cut the noose so that Jack could go free. 

Laurel and I leapt off of the platform we were standing on and began sprinting through the crowd.  By now Jack and Will were running out of the fort (in the direction of the cliff Elizabitch fell over), knocking out guards the whole way.  We picked up our skirts and ran after them.  

But by the time we reached them, they were surrounded by guards, and somehow the Commodore, my uncle, and Elizabeth had beaten us there.

"Nooo!" Laurel and I shrieked and lunged in front of the guns the guards had pointed at our loves.  "You can't shoot!"****

"I thought we might have to endure some manner of ill conceived escape attempt but not from you," Norrington said to Will.  Laurel growled at him.

"On our return to Port Royale, I granted you clemency and this is how you thank me? By throwing in your lot with him? He's a pirate!" my uncle added.

"And a good man," Will said defensively.

"Hell yeah!" I chirped.   

"You forget your place, Turner," Norrington said evilly.

"It's right here, between you and Jack," he answered.

"As is mine," Laurel said.

"And mine," I added, clutching Jack's arm protectively.

"Girls!  Lower your weapons!" the Governor barked.  "For God's sake, lower them!" The soldiers slowly lowered their guns.  Elizabeth looked at us incredulously.

"Well!" Jack said, "I'm actually feeling rather good about this." He turned to my uncle. "I think we've all arrived at a very special place, eh? Spiritually, ecumenically, dramatically?" He looked at Norrington.  "I want you to know that I was rooting for you, mate. Know that. Elizabeth …it would never have worked between us, darling. I'm sorry."  I laughed and Jack winked at me. "Will... nice hat."  He backed towards the edge of the cliff, still holding my shoulders. "Men! This is the day that you will always remember as the day that you-" But before he could finish, I tripped over my skirt, causing us both to tumble backwards over the battlement.  

~Laurel POV~

We all ran to the edge of the battlement.  I looked over and saw the figures of Jack and Sarah getting smaller.  

"Idiot. He has nowhere to go but back to the noose," Gillette said.  

Norrington turned to Will.  "Mr. Turner."

Will looked at Elizabeth and me.  "I am willing to accept the consequences of my actions," he said quietly.  I bit my lip as Norrington unsheathed his sword.

"This is a beautiful sword. I would expect the man who made it to show the same care and devotion in every aspect of his life," the Commodore said.

"Thank you, sir," Will said with a nod.

"Commodore! What about Sparrow?" Gillette asked.

"Well, I think we can afford to give him one day's head start," he answered confidently.

"Yay!" I squealed, bouncing up and down slightly.  Will smiled as the Commodore, Gillette and my uncle walked away.

"Laurel, may I speak to you?" he asked. 

"Of course." He led me over to a little balcony a few yards away.  I noticed that Elizabeth was watching us.

"So, what are you going to do now that you have been pardoned by the governor?" I asked.

"I am not sure. But if all it means is that I can afford two pairs of shoes instead of one, then it isn't much," he answered with a smile.

"But you get this really awesome hat!" I said, plucking it off his head and putting it on mine.  Will just stared at me as I stood up and started chasing the feather.  "Ooh, pretty feather," I giggled.

"Laurel..." He stood up and put a hand on my shoulder.  "Please stop."

"Ooh, sorry."

"Like I was saying... Not everything valuable is silver and gold... or neat hats." He smiled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.  "Laurel, I-"

Suddenly a green and yellow parrot dive-bombed my head.  I clutched my- I mean, Will's hat, ducking just in time.  The parrot flew over the barracks and down towards the water.  I turned back to Will.

"I just don't seem to be able to make my little speech," he said thoughtfully.

"Try again," I begged.

He laughed.  "When I first met you, you seemed a little... odd." 

"My mother dropped me on my head when I was a baby," I told him while I fiddled with the feather.

"But now that I know you, I realize that you have a big heart, and you're one of the bravest people I've ever known.  You're... intellectual, most of the time, and when you aren't, you're hilariously funny."  I grinned like the idjit that I am.

"Will."

"Yes?"

"Just say it."

He grinned.  "I love you."

"Yay!" I squeaked and threw my arms around his neck.  I was about to kiss him when I heard someone yell.  "Laurel!!"  

I scowled as Elizabeth and my uncle ran up.  "Laurel, what are you doing?" my uncle demanded.  

"Yes.  You hardly know Will!" Elizabeth said, gesturing frantically.

I glared daggers at both of them.  "Actually, I've known him now for several weeks, and in just that short amount of time he has saved my life about fifty million times.  So if you'll excuse my language, stop being whiny bitches and shut the hell up."  With that I turned back around and gave Will the longest, sweetest kiss ever.  When I pulled away, I smiled.

"I lurve you too, Will."

"Augh! This is utter nonsense!!" Elizabitch screeched. Then, with a stomp of her foot she said, "FINE! If that's the way it has to be then…." And she jumped off the barracked. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Norrington yelled from somewhere in the distance, and immediately all his men ran to save her. When she was saved, she screamed at the top of her lungs, "DAMMIT! I CAN'T EVEN COMMIT SUICIDE PROPERLY!!! AUUUGGH!!" 

Will and I laughed.

I then noticed the black pearl in the distance, and the forms of Sarah and Jack swimming towards it. I turned to Will and said, "Shall we join them?"

"Ah hell, why not? At least I won't have to put up with that little piggle head's screaming,"(he was talking about Elizabitch) Will said with a shrug.

And with that, we leapt off the barracks and into the water, and started swimming towards the Black pearl.

~Sarah POV~

Jack's crew helped us on board and gave Jack his jacket and a spare (and very greasy one, I might add) one to me. 

"Ah, love, welcome to your new home," Jack said to me. I grinned a BIG grin, then a HUGE grin, then a MONSTEROUS grin. Jack grinned too. All of a sudden, I noticed that someone, or rather, _two someone's were swimming towards the ship_

"Oh Gawd, Jack! IT'S LAUREL AND WILL!! EEEE!!" I clapped my hands together in all my blissbliss. I was so glad that I wouldn't have to spend the rest of my life Laurel-less. We helped Laurel and Will on board and then had a big group hug. 

"Well now, I say we head off to Tortuga to have us some weddings, aye?" Jack said, smiling.

"Oh God, YES! WOOT WOOT WOOT!!" Laurel and I yelled. 

We headed off in the direction of Tortuga. Jack stood gazing contently off into the distance, steering the ship, with me by his side. Laurel and Will were busy doing *stuff* below deck. (I had no desire to know…) 

"Now…bring me that horizon," Jack said, "dad a dad a da…"

"…and really bad eggs, drink up me 'earties yo-ho!" we finished together. 

"And here's to the start of a new life!" I added.

~THE BEGINNING~

Awww! That was so sweet! *tear* heh heh heh. Anywho, I hope y'all are gonna review now!! :-)

We're thinking of writing another story, but it'll be about LOTR. I hope you guys will read it!! 

Ok, and now for the 

**THANK YOU NOTES:**

First of all, we'd like to say that we love our reviewers and y'all get tons of hugs and Krispy Kreme donuts! We do NOT like our flamers. However, we only had to flamers, and we'd like to address them first.

Yao Kafei (flamer): Dear, you have some serious issues. If you are going to review like that, you shouldn't read fan fiction. Fanfic is all about making the story into your own thing, and if you can't deal with that, too bad. So please, go to hell.

Kaliey (flamer): Well DUH, of _course this story is childish! WE'RE CHILDREN, FOR GOD SAKES! Aw pooey! Go roast in the nice hot firey place. *points down*_

Ok, and now onto our REVIEWERS-WHO-WE-LOVE-AND-WORSHIP-WITH-SOCKS.

**MANY THANKS TO THE FOLLOWING: **

JB-LIRIMAER

Hullu!

KochaMikono

Padfoots-Pirate

XM6

Lolly

Meiharu

Crystyna

Lady of Sparrow

Laurelin 15

Yami Maleci

Babydoll789

SpoonGirl1

happygal0101

EatEvilLeprechauns

Savvy

Audacious

Honolulu

Damaia

PeachyPeachs

FreakishDisturbed13

Malathyne

Ramblin Rose

IzzyKatt22

Mushrooms of Death

Carmina Burana (woot! *hug*)

Nestrik

Cerebrus

Mandy76

Marie (a somewhat reluctant reviewer, but don't worry dear, we love you anyway)

jorluver/geekster

elfgirl

violet_dream

ninaC

yuhi

Alel

legolassdiosa

DarkEvenstar

bebe

Rohi

Prd2bAmerican18

chaos jo

i love will!!!!!!

TheHumanHobbit

Laurel

CelticDawnStar

XxDarkGoddessxX

eye-changling

TopazQueen1188

ErickaoftheWind

Rory3

FrannieGurl2006

elfgirl88

Olpchickadee

Will's Gal

Katie (we lurve you too)

Will's Angel

Satiota Shimes

VagrantCandy

Raven185

AutumnFairie

Captain Sophie

aquitaineq

Cute Kitty (Thankies for the Cute Kitty Car!! LOL)

babydoll

And that's it!! Sorry if we forgot any one!! Thankies, and hopefully we'll cya again soon with another story.

~*Sarah and Laurel*~


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